coming out

It's been a while since I posted anything here, and I thought this essay of mine might be appropriate and perhaps enjoyed. Life is good for the Craig family. Joshua will turn two this Halloween. As dads, we spend the vast majority of our time stepping on Legos and finding Cheerios in our bedsheets. Ahh... fatherhood.

All the best!

Todd Craig

My voice shook.

I couldn’t make eye contact.

When you signed on to be a gay parent, you knew you would have to education straight people on a regular basis. That was part of the deal. But you probably didn’t consider how often your child—even your very young child—would have to educate others on your behalf. But when you least expect it, a stranger will pat your child’s head and say, “Your mom and dad must be so proud of you!” and unless you’ve prepared your child, he or she won’t know what to say. So follow these simple steps:

So, yesterday I sat down with all the kids and had a really amazing heart to heart conversation, letting them know exactly what the move meant for them - the good, the bad, and the ugly. I did my best to respect their mom, and told them what my demands were for visitation. They were very honest about their mixed feelings about moving, and they gave me "permission" to fight for custody if my demands aren't met. I feel closer to my kids than I ever have. They are a petty amazing bunch!

Gay people, like all others, have a knack for putting the cart before the horse. Very few of us actually think about the consequences of our actions. Where’s the fun in that, after all? While you were serving coffee to your adoption social worker and thinking “Does she like us? Will we pass the test?” or lying knees up after your insemination praying “Dear God, please let this be the month because I’m afraid my girlfriend won’t stick with this much longer,” you forgot to consider that five months ahead was Christmas and at Christmas time you always fly home to Nebraska to visit your parents, your twelve aunts and uncles, and scores of cousins, none of whom even know you are gay.

Since the Stonewall Riots of 1969, gays have been declaring their right to live openly and proudly in greater and greater numbers. And through the decades, certain coming-out-to-parent patterns and rituals have become established within the gay community. We now know definitively,

Where to begin?! The full story will be in my book one day, but for now, I'm excited to have a place for gay parents to connect, and wanted to give you all a little of my history.

I was raised in the Mormon church all of my life... 6-7 generations deep. I was married at 21, and immediately started having kids. After all, for all of my life I was playing the "Mormon Game of Life" spinning the wheel, and moving to the next space... doing exactly as I was "supposed" to be doing!

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