donor sperm

A subject not often discussed relates to the "other" father. The dad who did NOT donate his sperm for the baby.

The couple had a child through in vitro fertilization (IVF) and obviously only one man could donate. They drew straws, flipped a coin, or discussed it thoroughly. Regardless of the decision process, there's only one bio-dad in the family.

"It’s So Amazing! A Book About Eggs, Sperm, Birth, Babies, and Families"

This book targets middle-schoolers ages 7 and up. Specific topics include puberty, intercourse, birth control, chromosomes, fetal development and genes. Adoption and adjusting to newborn siblings are discussed.

Artwork ranges from fun cartoon panels of talking sperm and eggs in the fallopian tube, to straightforward drawings of reproductive organs and a developing fetus.

There are a few options for lesbians and gay men to reach insemination.

• Women may use their own eggs along with a donor’s sperm or they may use a donor’s eggs along with the donor’s sperm.
• Females also have the option of working with a surrogate mother along with eggs and sperm from donors.
• Gay men may work with a surrogate mother using her eggs or they can work with an egg donor separate from the surrogate mother.

"For the most part, if a woman purchases anonymous donor sperm from a sperm bank, the donor will not have any legal rights to the child. This is the safest way for a single woman or a lesbian couple to assure that no one other than them will have parental rights." So says Deborah H. Wald, a San Francisco Bay Area attorney specializing in family formation law, as she explains the legal parameters of lesbians having babies.

If you are considering donor sperm insemination as a way to build your family, consider the following questions:

• Does the clinic have its own sperm bank? If not, which sperm banks does the practice or clinic use?
• Does the clinic provide a list of sperm banks?

If the clinic provides the donor sperm, ask the clinic the following questions:

• Does the clinic use samples from a commercial sperm bank or does it have its own donors?