Proud Parenting

LGBTQ Parents - Lesbian Moms & Gay Dads

Pope Benedict: Marriage equality, like abortion and euthanasia, is a threat to world peace

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Will someone wake-up the Pope? The Vatican’s opposition to marriage equality is falling largely on deaf ears. Jose Luis Rodriguez Zapatero was able to bring equality to Spain, although it’s population is largely Roman Catholic. The British government announced it will introduce a bill next year legalizing marriage equality. And three U.S. states approved same-sex marriage by popular vote in November elections.

In France, President Francois Hollande has said he would enact his “marriage for everyone” plan within a year of taking office last May.

[via HuffPo]

Carol Weathers, Director of Gestational Surrogacy Program Visiting Spain (Madrid, Valencia & Barcelona) in July 2012

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Carol Weathers, Program Director of Building Families, Inc., will be meeting with Couples interested in learning more about gestational surrogacy. These meetings will take place in July 2012 in various parts of Spain including Madrid, Barcelona & Valencia.

  • Barcelona: July 03 & 04, 2012
  • Valencia: July 05 & 06, 2012
  • Madrid: July 10 & 11, 2012

Building Families, Inc. celebrated 20 years of Surrogacy success last year, having helped over 400 babies reach the loving arms of their parents. In addition, Building Families, Inc., takes pride in acknowledging that their efforts to help build families has been well received in the Lesbian & Gay communities throughout the United States and Europe.

For more information about this trip and specific locations, please visit these links:

  • English: www.buildingfamiliesinc.com/spain-2012
  • Spanish: www.buildingfamiliesinc.com/espana-2012

Mission Statement:

Building Families, Inc. is a comprehensive Gestational Surrogacy Program based in Southern California. We offer the highest level of personal attention to the Intended Parents and the Surrogate Mothers.

Building Families, Inc. realizes that the relationship in every surrogacy arrangement is unique. Therefore, we have made it our mission to perfect the option of building families through surrogacy by promoting a comprehensive and integrated program for the Surrogate Mother and the Intended Parents. This is accomplished by the high level of personal attention given to each case by the Program Director and her experienced professional team throughout the entire legal, medical and emotional process.

Building Families, Inc. has never experienced any legal or psychological impediment from any Surrogacy Arrangement, domestically or internationally.

Contact Information:

Building Families, Inc., P.O. Box 1138, Lake Forest, CA 92609
surrogacy@buildingfamiliesinc.com
001-949-588-6015

Ricky Martin to marry Carlos Gonzalez in Spain

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Ricky Martin applied for Spanish citizenship so he can marry there. He wants to marry in Spain rather than a US state to pay tribute to prime minister Jose Luis Rodriguez Zapatero’s support for gay rights. In an unusual move, the government did not ask him to renounce his Puerto Rican or US citizenship. Ricky’s a father to three-year-old twins Matteo and Valentino, and has been in a relationship with Carlos for four years.

[via Metro.co.uk]

Friday Legal Updates – The Trials & Tribulations of International Family Building

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This story from the United Kingdom is another reason why you need to do your research and make sure you understand the differences in the laws regarding infertility treatment before you decide to undergo treatment abroad.

It has been discovered that a clinic in Spain has donated hundreds of embryos leftover from previous IVF treatments without the consent of the British couples who created those embryos. The “clinic runs an ’embryo adoption scheme’ where spare embryos are donated to other women if the couple who created them do not know what they want to do with them or do not respond to correspondence from the clinic.”

“The ’embryo adoption programme’ at the Institut Marques clinic on the outskirts of Barcelona was started in 2004 and is thought to have been the first of its kind.” It is believed that about one third of the British couples treated at the clinic do not know what to do with their leftover embryos. Based on this estimation, out of 317 British couples treated since 2004, 114 did not decide what to do and their embryos were adopted. “The clinic writes to patients every year giving them the options to donate the embryos to other patients, donate them for research, keep them for their own future use or discard them. But in many cases the letters from the clinic go unanswered.”

The clinic tries to assign the embryo to a couple who does not live in the same country or region as the biological parents in order to minimize the chance of two siblings meeting. The clinic estimates that more than 460 babies have been born across the world as a result of their international embryo adoption scheme.

The laws in Britain would not allow an embryo adoption scheme like this “as patients must give their explicit consent to their embryos being adopted, or used in research or destroyed.” However, in Spain a scheme like this is perfectly legal and the anonymity laws in Spain prevent the resulting children from discovering who their biological parents are. In Britain, the resulting children are allowed to trace their biological parents and siblings once they turn 18.

Susan Seenan from patients group, Infertility Network, stated “Although many patients do have a good experience of treatment abroad, we have always maintained that before making a decision patients need to make themselves aware of the laws in that country which may be very different from the regulated system here in the UK.”

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/health/healthnews/7902308/Hundreds-of-IVF-embryos-donated-without-consent.html

Spanish clinic and travel agency offer gay marriage and fertility deal

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British lesbians are being encouraged to travel to Spain – and come back either pregnant, married or both.

The offer comes from a fertility clinic and a GLBT travel agency, which have launched joint package tours to Spain because of the country’s liberal laws.

British lesbians have been traveling to clinics in Spain for IVF treatment, which has become more difficult in Britain since sperm donors lost the right to remain anonymous in 2005.

“We noticed the increase in British women coming to us as soon as the law was changed,” said Dr Rafael Bernabeu, founder of the Instituto Bernabeu clinic in Alicante, eastern Spain. “Here we can still offer that anonymity, so people are coming to us.”

According to guardian.co.uk Bernabeu said his clinic saw 30 British women a month. About 40% of British women seeking donor insemination were single and many were lesbians. “We don’t ask questions about people’s sexuality, so I can’t give exact figures,” he said. “But often they come with same-sex partners or simply tell us that they are lesbians.”

He said that couples, gay and straight, who wanted fertility treatment were often worried about the effect on a child of knowing that they could track down their missing biological parent. “Many couples in this situation do not want problems of that kind,” he said.

The guarantee of anonymity means Spanish clinics have few problems finding sperm and egg donors, whose numbers fell dramatically in Britain after 2005 as people worried about getting a knock on the door in 18 years’ time.

Unlike some other countries in Europe, Spain does not require those wanting fertility treatment to be married. “As long as you are in control of your mental faculties, then you can do it,” said Bernabeu. “The question of your sexual orientation or whether you are married has nothing to do with it.”

Lesbian baby boom in France. Women are creating families with help from surrounding countries.

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It’s illegal for gay people to adopt in France, and only heterosexual couples with fertility problems have access to medically assisted reproduction facilities there. So a phenomenon has begun with a number of lesbians are taking the high-speed train to Holland or Spain for insemination.

According to CafeBabel.com, the percentage of women creating families in France is increasing constantly; from 40% in 2001 to 60% in 2005.

The trend has become so popular that Belgian fertility clinics have taken steps to provide specifically for French lesbian couples. In 1998, the university hospital Erasme helped about 30 such couples to have a child. In 2000, there were 170 cases and it was even necessary to launch a recruitment campaign for extra sperm donors. In 2002, faced with a flood of requests, the hospital chose to limit the number of cases to 600 a year. Other institutions have chosen to make block-bookings in their schedules exclusively for French lesbians.

In France, only a child’s biological mother has legal recognition. Unlike in neighboring countries, gay parent families can’t have their family unit recorded in the official figures. It’s believed between 200,000 and 300,000 children are being raised by gay parents.

Royalty

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We live in Pensacola, FL. The King and Queen of Spain were scheduled to make an appearance as part of the 450th Anniversary Celebration of the founding of Pensacola. Faith is nutsy coo-coo about Queens and Princesses and Fairies and any other women realistic or not, who dress in “sparkles.” We had to go.

It was, however, a typical morning at our house. Wake up too late. No clean socks. Not enough milk for everyone to have cereal. “What do you mean you didn’t finish your homework?” Shoes everywhere except on the shoe rack. “I don’t want to go to school!”

Dawn withdrew to the potty just as Faith and I were reaching breaking point over, “Can you please get dressed while your bagel toasts? (Unintelligible whining) No, we don’t have time for you to sit huddled in your chair waiting for the bagel to pop-up. (General grumpiness and stalling) Faith, you chose to stay in bed instead of getting up. Now you have to get dressed quickly to have enough time to eat breakfast. (Stomping and screaming on her way back to the bedroom) Stop crying! Just get dressed!”

I later found out that she stopped off in the bathroom. The same bathroom where Dawn was doing a big job. As Dawn tells it, Faith with eyes brimming with resentful tears, opened the door, closed it and leaned against it with her defeated 30 lb. body. “Why do I have to get dressed?”

Dawn, still on the potty, said, “450 years ago, a man named Tristan de Luna from Spain stepped foot on our beach. He was the first man from Europe to do so. To celebrate his long journey and our city today, the Queen of Spain is coming to see us. I’d like to take you. I don’t think you should wear your pajamas.”

Faith said, “Will you help me choose a dress?” I am constantly amazed at Dawn’s capacity for patience and sympathy, especially while pooping.

As it turned out, we took our three youngest kids and our 2 teenaged neighbors. We staked out a good spot under a Live Oak and waited. And waited. And waited. Every now and again, a gooby white guy would come out on the balcony and lead the crowd in a round of HOLA!s It was totally embarrassing. He may have been drunk.

At long last, King Juan Carlos I and Queen Sofia emerged from the T.T. Wentworth Museum. (I’ve never been, but I’m told it’s an insane collection that rivals Ripley’s in scope and oddity. I thought it a strange place for a head of state to make an appearance.) The crowd cheered and waved Spanish flags. One guy had a poster that read in stenciled letters, “King Juan Carlos I, Thank You For Telling That Bufon Hugo Chavez, ‘Why Don’t You Just Shut Up!’” To which I said, “OK, but that’s not how you spell buffoon.” To which Dawn said, “It is in Spanish.” I hate being dumb.

Dawn has a brilliant theory that our children are probably too young to remember the events to which we take them as we will, so it is our job to make them memorable in a kid way. For example, she recognizes that there is no way that the little ones will remember that they saw the King and Queen and that they were here for the 450th Anniversary of blah blah blah. They can remember, however, something big and bright. In this case, Dawn chose the huge plastic (because we spare no expense) Spanish flags on either side of the buildings façade.

Faith and William took turns climbing up Dawn to wave to the King and Queen. Both have told everyone since that the Spanish flag is red and yellow. Also, Faith immediately points out that the Queen wasn’t wearing sparkles, but is forgiven because her suit was such a lovely shade of green. Dawn says her favorite part of the day was when William, while waving to the King, asked, “When he going to throw candy?”

Circle Surrogacy reports 40% of clients from Europe and Israel

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Circle Surrogacy: more than 40% of clients are now from Europe and Israel, where legal restrictions drive gay men to seek surrogate mothers in the USA

The United States has become the preferred country for surrogacy among international prospective parents. U.S.-based Circle Surrogacy has helped clients from more than 30 countries, and this past year the agency hosted seminars about surrogacy in the U.S. in Stockholm, Paris, London and Tel Aviv. In addition to these cities, the group will offer 2009 sessions in Spain and Canada. Circle also reports a steady increase in the number of international clients, fueled by growing international media interest.

According to Circle founder and president John Weltman, “Surrogacy is prohibited or restricted in many countries that are very gay hospitable, including Sweden, France, the U.K., Spain, Italy and Belgium, the European countries we have most clients from.

In Israel, where we have dozens of clients as well, surrogacy is restricted to married heterosexual couples. So these people have been turning to the U.S.A. for help in having biological children of their own.”

John told us about the legal, societal and medical conditions that help make the U.S. the preferred country for surrogacy among Circle’s international prospective parents.

He says, “Having children in the States can be relatively easy for international couples. It is only necessary to come to the U.S. three to four times, including the 20-week ultrasound and birth. Departures from the United States are easy as well – most international couples return to their countries within 2 weeks of the birth of their children, with their names on the birth certificate and U.S. Passports, if they choose to apply for them.

“Circle’s success with international clients may be attributed to the special attention that is given to addressing every country’s needs and legal circumstances. We have had legal input in each country from lawyers there, and in some of the most frequent destinations such as Sweden, Italy, Israel, France and the UK, we have partnered with local organizations and lawyers to provide a complete solution for our clients before and after the birth.

We have heard of horror stories about international clients who worked with less informed agencies and faced considerable difficulties attaining citizenship or legal recognition for their babies or the non-biological father upon return home. For instance, U.K. citizens have to be matched with unmarried surrogates to avoid a situation where they are unable to relinquish the rights of the surrogate’s husband. Some countries will accept an amended birth certificate without a mother, some will not. We often have couples with mixed nationalities, and that presents additional challenges.”

Circle’s staff also meets regularly with prospective clients for intake consultations in their own countries and cities, although many still conduct them over the phone or video conferencing. Once they become clients, Circle’s staff leads all parents through the logistical, legal and administrative processes involved from day one, and until they gain full custody of their newborns and bring them home.

In the video below, Peter – a Swedish gay father who had twins through surrogacy in the U.S.A. – describes his experience. He talks about why he and his partner chose surrogacy in the U.S., and why they chose Circle Surrogacy. Peter also speaks in length about what both heterosexual and gay Swedes need to do in order to bring back their newborns to Sweden, and gain full citizenship status for them. John Weltman also offers remarks on the subject.

Additional clips from this seminars and others in Israel and France are available on Circle Surrogacy’s YouTube channel.

WATCH:

Spanish lesbian wins right to adopt her partner’s child

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Vanesa de la Heras started legal action against family court judge Fernando Ferrin Calamita – alleging that he had been maliciosly delaying her case.

TypicallySpanish.com reports that a court in Murcia finally granted the right to adopt to the mother. She has started legal action against the right wing judge of the family court.

Her partner, Susana Meseguer, gave birth after IVF treatment, and the couple wanted Vanesa to adopt the child.

The court recently ruled that it is in the child’s best interest that the adoption be granted given the family stability and the personal, social and economic situation of the couple. The couple got married in 2005 – before their decision to have a child.

Meanwhile Judge Calamita denied that he had acted maliciously in the case because of his religious beliefs.

Spanish woman’s kids are taken away. Judge worries her sexuality “raised the risk” of her daughters becoming lesbians

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A judge ordered a lesbian mom in Spain to relinquish her daughters to their father because, he said, her homosexuality would harm them and “raised the risk” that the girls would also become lesbians.

Judge Fernando Ferrin Calamita said, “It is understood that (a parent’s) drug addiction, child abuse, prostitution, belonging to a satanic sect or heterosexual affair would negatively affect the children and serve as a reason for a change of custody. Well, it’s the same with homosexuality.”

Women’s associations and gay rights groups protested the judge’s ruling and sent petitions to the Spanish judicial authorities claiming Ferrin had overstepped his authority.

UPDATE: Because the decision ran contrary to Spain’s constitution, it prompted the Supreme Court to open disciplinary proceedings against Ferrin. He already faces a probe in a separate case, because he attempted to block the adoption of a girl by her mother’s gay partner.

Spain legalized same-sex marriage in 2005.