Proud Parenting

LGBTQ Parents - Lesbian Moms & Gay Dads

  • Home
  • Families
  • News
  • Editor’s Picks
  • April 20, 2018

Sperm donor anonymity is a flawed process causing distress and grief

September 2, 2015 By Jeff Bennett


ivf9115
Guest Blog: Pride Angel (Australia fertility support and legal advice)

Sperm donation is a topic that makes some people uncomfortable. For me, any qualms about discussing sperm vanished when I began producing a documentary about donor-conceived adults for ABC. Sperm became a constant topic of conversation as we tried to unpack why in the past, sperm donation was anonymous and shrouded in secrecy.

In making our film Sperm Donors Anonymous we are hoping to reach the thousands of men who donated sperm anonymously and say: please watch these stories of children conceived with anonymous sperm. Many are growing into adults, finding out the truth about their conception, and many would like to know about their donor. They have a right to know.

Laws need to be passed in Australia giving them this right. It’s time to put an end to the secrecy and the lack of openness that has surrounded donor-conception. Anonymity is a flawed process causing distress and grief for children, parents and sperm donors themselves.

When we started our project, director Lucy Paplinska and I made contact with sperm donors and donor-conceived adults through the Victorian Assisted Reproductive Treatment Authority (Varta).

We met Michael Griffiths, 40, a musical theatre performer who, at 28, found out by accident that he was donor-conceived when he read it in his mother’s unpublished autobiography. This revelation had a profound impact on him, causing a great deal of soul searching. Unfortunately, Michael was conceived in South Australia where many donor records were deliberately destroyed, but he was determined to discover his donor’s identity to complete the picture of his own identity.

At a group meeting in Melbourne, we met Ian Smith, a donor from the Madmen (Melbourne Anonymous Donors). Ian spoke about how he felt for the seven children he had never met. He and other donors at the meeting revealed a side to this story we hadn’t heard before. Here were guys who donated sperm more than 30 years ago, who at the time of donating thought little about “offspring”. But now they were open to contact, and in doing so, were supporting the donor-conceived people they knew who were fighting for the right to identifying information about their donor.

Lucy and I often asked ourselves what the fertility doctors who used anonymous sperm for almost 40 years were thinking. But it is estimated that the majority of the 60,000 donor-conceived people in Australia don’t know they are donor-conceived. Their parents haven’t told them, the clinics won’t tell them, and it’s not recorded on their birth certificates.

The clinics, in order to get on with the business of creating babies for infertile couples, made a decision in the 1970s that anonymous sperm donation was the only way society could deal with this new fertility treatment. This plan works as long as children don’t find out they are donor-conceived, and parents can shoulder the burden of keeping their secret.

Ross Hunter, who we also met in Melbourne, found out he was donor conceived at age 33. He wants to find his donor but his conception records are still to be located and his donor is not on a voluntary register or DNA database. Along with a group of other donor conceived folk, Ross started a campaign called RUDC? (Are you donor conceived?), encouraging children to ask their parents this question. But encouraging kids to ask also means encouraging parents to tell the truth. Parents are more likely to do this if they think their children will be able to find their donor.

The research to date isn’t conclusive on how many donors are open to contact. However it’s clear from our research that many donors are open to contact. We were fortunate two of our participants located their donors during filming and both were open to contact.

We followed Michael Griffiths as he returned to Adelaide looking for information about his donor. One donor came forward after reading a newspaper article but wanted to remain anonymous to Michael until a DNA test could prove paternity. A few weeks later, I went to visit the donor to ask if he would participate in our documentary.

I discovered he donated as a student. Seeing Michael’s face in a newspaper sent a jolt through him and he became determined to find out about the children he had fathered. He rang and emailed everyone he could think of – clinics, government, doctors. He showed me the file he kept tracking the correspondence; it was huge.

Here was a man coming to terms with the fact that he had children out there. He was willing to do a DNA test and go on a register, but no organisation in South Australia would facilitate a test, or give him information. When he told me his family was very musical (Michael is a singer and pianist), it was hard to hold back the tears. I could see clearly that the power of biological connection was going both ways, it wasn’t just the children who had a need to know.

Victorian clinics like Monash IVF now write to donors when requested by their biological children, as they have kept identity profiles. Some donors reject contact, and when they do, the clinic cannot give the children any identifying information. This rejection is painful. I know that making contact and handing over identifying information isn’t what anonymous donors signed up for, but there are real children out there.

I stayed in contact with the anonymous donor in Adelaide, and through the process of his DNA test with Michael. While waiting for the results of the test, he was on tenterhooks. He said he felt like an expectant father waiting for the birth of a child.

Article: 17th August 2015 www.theguardian.com

via Pride Angel

Filed Under: Insemination, Surrogacy Tagged With: Australia, pride angel

Happy New Year 2014 – Free message credits!

January 1, 2014 By prideangel.com

To celebrate Pride Angel’s 5th New Year’s celebration and as a thank you to all our members, we are giving free message credits to all those who login over the New Year Period.
How to get your FREE message credits?

Simply log back into Pride Angel or Register if you’re not a member during the New Year period:

– Login on the 1st January 2012 to receive 5 free message credits

For your free credits to be added to your account – just ‘contact us’ with the code PrideNewYear. Your free message credits will be added to your account within 24 hours of you contacting us.

It’s also a great idea to update your profile regularly and make sure that all your ‘About you’ details are up to date!
So take advantage and login or register now.

Leave a lasting impression… It’s important to make sure that you are utilising all the tools available to you on the Pride Angel website in order to promote yourself to others.

Here are some quick tips for improving your profile:
– Update your ‘About You’ details: this is your opportunity to talk about your likes, dislikes, your values and interesting facts about you and your life – make sure you fill it in!

– Complete your health questionnaire: this is an important part of a profile for people looking for potential donors, recipients and co-parents. Assure people who are viewing your profile that you have the all clear!

– Add a current photograph: Let people see your face! It’s a common fact that people react to profiles with photographs so to increase your chances of a click through, add a recent photo!

Login and update your profile now.

For all those starting on the path to parenthood, we send our best wishes, and wish you happiness along your journey.
All the best for the New Year
Pride Angel

Note: Free message credits will only be added to your account once and only if your account has been verified and you have contacted us through the ‘contact us’ form.

Filed Under: Family & Friends Tagged With: co-parent website, pride angel, prideangel, sperm donation website, sperm donor forum, sperm donor website

Wishing you all a Merry Christmas 2013

December 26, 2013 By prideangel.com

Wishing you all a very Merry Christmas for 2013. If you are just starting on the journey to becoming parents, we send our best wishes and wish you happiness for the future.
For all of you who have become parents this year through Pride Angel, we send you our congratulations and just a reminder that we would love to hear your baby news and about your Pride Angel Journey.

Click here to read about one couples personal journey through Pride Angel to becoming parents.

Heres to a fantastic new year in 2014.

The Pride Angel Team 25th December 2013

Filed Under: Family & Friends Tagged With: gay parenting christmas, merry christmas pride angel, pride angel, sperm donor christmas

Pride Angel nominated Family Provider/Initiative of the Year

January 14, 2013 By prideangel.com

We’re delighted to have been nominated for this year’s ‘G3 Readers awards 2013’.
Introducing the Awards, G3 says:
“The Awards are designed to showcase those individuals and organisations who have demonstrated an outstanding commitment to the LGBT community. We believe that those who go the extra mile to ensure equality of opportunity and fair treatment for all, deserve to be recognised.”

Pride Angel has been short listed within the category of ‘Family Provider/Initiative of the Year’

The shortlisted nominations include:

– Pride Angel
– London Women’s Clinic
– L Group Families
– PACT
– Natalie Gamble Associates

Vote for Pride Angel for being gay owned and run and for our contribution to the LGBT community helping create hundreds of LGBT families with pride! ….and just for voting for your favourite nominations you will be entered into a FREE DRAW for a chance to win tickets to the event.

We would love for you to show your support by voting for Pride Angel. It will only take a minute, just click on the link below now to vote:

www.outg3awards.co.uk

Nominations for all categories were short-listed based on their ability to be gay friendly and their contribution to the LGBT community.

Article: 14th January 2013 Pride Angel

Filed Under: Entertainment Tagged With: alternative families, g3 award ceremony, g3 awards, g3 readers awards, gay family, gay family website, LGBT Families, pride angel

Merry Christmas 2012 from the Pride Angel Team

December 24, 2012 By prideangel.com

Wishing you all a very Merry Christmas. Thank you for all your support over 2012 and your wonderful stories of good news and miracle Pride Angel babies.
2012 has also been a fantastic year, as we have loved receiving all your beautiful baby photos. Choosing the winners was such a difficult decision. To view our recent competition winners click here.

If you are just starting on the journey to becoming parents, we send our best wishes and wish you happiness for the future.

Happy Christmas and heres to a fantastic year in 2013

The Pride Angel Team 24th December 2012

Filed Under: Family & Friends Tagged With: happy new year blog, merry christmas blog, pride angel

Another successful year at the Alternative Parenting Show

September 16, 2012 By prideangel.com

Another successful year at the Alternative Parenting Show 2012.
Pride Angel had hundreds of visitors to our stand on Saturday. It was fantastic to be able to get the message out to many more single women and lesbian couples who were considering their options of choosing a known donor or thinking about co-parenting. There were also many single men and gay couples who were seriously considering co-parenting as an option which they previously had not considered would be a feasible option of becoming a parent. For those considering surrogacy many wished to find a known egg donor through Pride Angel, so that they could pass on more information to their child about their genetic origins. We really enjoyed being able to meet people face-to-face at our stand to be able to discuss the different parenting options available and how Pride Angel can help many people achieve their family.

Many people at the show asked questions about the following options:

• Single men and women wanting to co-parent
• Gay couples wanting to co-parent and be hands on fathers
• Gay couples wishing to find an egg donor for a surrogacy arrangement
• Lesbian couples wanting to choose a known donor who could be part of their child’s life
• Women wishing to donate eggs and become an aunty to the child
• Women looking for advice on how to conceive using home insemination
• Taking a known donor to a fertility clinic, what is the process
• What kind of involvement does a known donor really have
• How does a donor child feel about their donor father
• What health screening tests are required when undertaking insemination at home
• What is the legal position when using a known donor or co-parenting

Erika co-founder of Pride Angel said ‘It was lovely to get so much positive feedback from people about Pride Angel’ ‘We would love to hear far more feedback from our users to see how they get on along their journey and of course it’s lovely to hear all the success stories’

Filed Under: Family & Friends Tagged With: alternative families show, alternative parenting show, co-parenting, gay parenting, known sperm donors, Lesbian parenting, lgbt parenting, pride angel

Pride Angel at Brighton Pride Saturday 1st September 2012

September 1, 2012 By prideangel.com

Tens of thousands of visitors are expected in Brighton and Hove for the city’s 20th Pride festival, the first to be run by business leaders.
Saturday’s parade and ticketed festival in Preston Park is being run by a community interest company appointed by the city council in March. The event was free until 2010 but dogged by money problems and complaints about overcrowding and litter.

Alexandra Burke and Fatboy Slim will headline the festival in the park.’Rebuild bridges’ Drag entertainer Stephen Richards, who performs as Lola Lasagne, said this year’s Brighton and Hove Pride was going back to its roots. “Pride is a celebration of everything we have here,” he said.

“Over the last couple of years there has been a disconnection from the community and now, with a new organisation at the helm, they have tried to rebuild those bridges to include the entire community – not just businesses but voluntary sectors as well. “The most important thing they did was to promise that £1 from every ticket sold would go to charity and so far over £15,000 has been handed over which is more money than has been given in about 10 years.” ‘Great showcase’

The festival is usually held in August but has been delayed this year to avoid a clash with the London Olympics. The parade, based on the theme the United Colours of Pride, starts at 11:00 BST from Madeira Drive and takes in King’s Road, West Street and North Street before travelling up the A23 to Preston Park. St James’s Street in the city centre will be closed from 18:00 BST for the Gay Village Party.

“Pride is a great showcase for the city and one of the biggest events in the calendar,” said Sussex Police Chief Supt Graham Bartlett. “It will be business as usual in the he city centre, although we do expect some temporary disruption to traffic.” Police have warned that anyone holding unlicensed events, including on the beach, could face prosecution.

Article: 31st August 2012 www.bbc.co.uk

Pride Angel will be holding a Market Stall in Preston Park, so why not come and have a chat about your lesbian and gay parenting options.

Filed Under: Entertainment Tagged With: alternative parenting, brighton pride, brighton pride parade, gay family options, gay pride brighton, preston park pride, pride angel

Happy Easter and Springtime from us all at Pride Angel

April 8, 2012 By prideangel.com

Happy Easter to you all from everyone at Pride Angel. Eggs have been associated with Easter celebrations throughout history; in ancient times it was thought the egg represented fertility and new beginnings. Springtime is therefore a lovely time to consider starting your new family or if you have recently had a baby, then enjoying your new bundles of joy.
Thank you so much, to all of you who have recently sent in your baby photos, please take a look at all the beautiful baby pictures in our gallery.

Our baby photo competition is open to everyone and gives you a chance of winning a £50 mothercare voucher for the winner and a £20 mothercare voucher for the runner up.

If you would like to submit your baby’s photo, please email it to us; click here to find out more about it.

Choosing the winner will be a difficult decision so please help us by letting us know your favourite, just contact us giving the name and age of the baby you would like to win.

And for all you hoping to become mums in the near future we wish you much happiness in your journey to parenthood.

Are you single, lesbian or infertile? and want to have a baby? Find out more at www.prideangel.com

Filed Under: Family & Friends Tagged With: baby photo competition, baby photos, easter baby, easter fertility, pride angel

Free message credits this Christmas and New Year

December 24, 2011 By prideangel.com

To celebrate Pride Angel’s 3rd Christmas and as a thank you to all our members, we are giving free message credits to all those who login over the festive periods.

How to get your FREE message credits?

Simply log back into Pride Angel or Register if you’re not a member during the Christmas period:

– Login on the 24th, 25th or 26th December and receive 5 free message credits
– Login on the 31st December or the 1st January 2012 to receive 5 free message credits
– Or login over Christmas AND New Year to receive 10 credits!

Your free message credits will be added to your account on the 27th December and the 2nd January – don’t worry you don’t need to do anything!

It’s also a great idea to update your profile regularly and make sure that all your ‘About you’ details are up to date!
So take advantage and login or register now.

Leave a lasting impression… It’s important to make sure that you are utilising all the tools available to you on the Pride Angel website in order to promote yourself to others.

Here are some quick tips for improving your profile:
– Update your ‘About You’ details: this is your opportunity to talk about your likes, dislikes, your values and interesting facts about you and your life – make sure you fill it in!

– Complete your health questionnaire: this is an important part of a profile for people looking for potential donors, recipients and co-parents. Assure people who are viewing your profile that you have the all clear!

– Add a current photograph: Let people see your face! It’s a common fact that people react to profiles with photographs so to increase your chances of a click through, add a recent photo!

Login and update your profile now.

For all those starting on the path to parenthood, we send our best wishes, and wish you happiness along your journey.
Here’s to a wonderful Christmas and best wishes for the New Year ahead!
Pride Angel

Note: Free message credits will only be added to your account once and only if your account has been verified, regardless of the number of times you log in over this time period. If you do not receive your free message credits by the 3rd January, please get in touch.

Filed Under: Insemination Tagged With: free message credits, gay parenting website, pride angel, pride angel message credits, sperm donor forum, sperm donor website

Pride Angel at Manchester Pride’s Lifestyle Expo

August 30, 2010 By prideangel.com

Manchester Pride’s Lifetyle Expo started today with great success, thankfully the rain did not dampen any spirits, with hundreds of visitors attending the variety of stalls. Pride Angel were happy to be one of those stalls and gave advice to those interested in becoming parents through donor conception or co-parenting.
Erika and Karen the co-founders of Pride Angel said ‘We are so happy by the positive response we are getting about this valuable service, there are alot of really genuine people coming forward to offer support by donating sperm or eggs to help others’

To read more go to http://bit.ly/9kCers

Filed Under: Insemination Tagged With: gay parenting, Lesbian parenting, manchester pride, manchester pride lifestyle expo, pride angel


Like Us on Facebook

Recent Posts

  • Over 2,000 attend first LGBT Pride Festival in VP Mike Pence’s hometown
  • Florida asks same-sex couples to help with overwhelming number of children in foster care
  • ‘Ideal Home’ is a film about a couple who become unexpected parents
  • Secretary of state nominee Mike Pompeo continues to oppose marriage equality
  • A surrogate’s story: “I wanted to give people the joy I have with my kids”
  • Homophobic adoption bill loses in Georgia
  • Victory for same-sex parents in Kansas! Lawmakers block attempt to discriminate based on religious beliefs
  • Parents meet anti-gay protesters at elementary school with message of inclusion

Copyright © 2018 Proud Parenting ® · Terms · Privacy Policy · Contact Gay Ad Network for Advertising