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Pride Angel Journey | Russian Dolls

July 7, 2013 By prideangel.com

It was a Thursday in October, almost thirteen weeks into my pregnancy when I had the first scan. At last proper confirmation that this nausea wasn’t for nothing – there really was something inside me, something human. I was still being sick every evening but the misery was now tinged with hope and excitement: hope that the nausea might end fairly soon, and excitement at the knowledge of the life inside me. Meanwhile, a tiny being reclined comfortably in my womb as if relaxing on a sun lounger. It looked so laidback, so collected – so different from how I felt. And tiny, yes, but not a bit vulnerable or needy. Not like it might scream for hours, appalled at the shock of life itself.
It was time to go public, although by this time it was only really a secret to people who lived far away and hadn’t witnessed the pathetic sight of me gnawing miserably at half a breadstick in between gulps of Gaviscon. We’d been nervous about telling our parents – I wasn’t sure how mine would take to our method of conception, involving a man from the Internet masturbating in our bathroom, but their desperation for a grandchild, the extent of which I hadn’t truly realised, apparently overrode any concerns they may have had. When I was little over seven weeks gone, my mum took the opportunity while the neighbours were on holiday (since it was still early days) to get my old baby clothes and Terry nappies out of the loft, through the wash and hanging on the line in the garden. This child was either going to look ridiculous, dressed in clothes over thirty years old, or like a supercool 70’s retro baby. Close friends either already knew our method of conception or, if they didn’t, were quick to ask. More distant friends and work colleagues tended not to ask and, while part of me wanted to correct their probable assumption that we’d been to a clinic and used anonymous donor sperm, I also felt that the quite intimate details of our child’s beginning were best kept as distant as possible from staffroom gossip. We left our parents to spread the news to the older family members still surviving, and I still experience a slight discomfort when I wonder exactly how much they were told and what their understanding is of how lesbians go about these things; it horrifies me to think that they may be under the impression that I had sex with a man – but perhaps I’m insulting the intelligence of a generation that we have actually found far more accepting of our relationship than the post-war baby boom generation that followed them.

Meanwhile, my body was changing. It was around the fourteen-week mark that a sliver of tummy was starting to emerge between tops and trousers. Keen to avoid both a November crop-top look and the risk of catching a chill, I had to reassess my wardrobe. A similarly proportioned friend had very kindly leant me a mound of maternity clothes, and my forage into the bag heralded a revelation: the comfort of maternity jeans with a shrewdly practical elastic-and-button adjustable system on the waistband.

There was really no hiding the emerging bump now and one break-time, a group of Year 11 girls cornered me; clearly aware of the delicacy of the issue, yet determined for answers, after a little skirting around the topic they ventured to ask whether the rumours were true. I hadn’t anticipated the screaming that my response inspired, and the anxious educator in me was a little perturbed at their complete lack of concern that their English teacher would be leaving a month before the GCSE exams.

A couple of weeks later, one of the girls – interestingly a student who was rather too relaxed where her work was concerned – presented me with a hat she’d knitted for the baby. I was very touched by the effort she’d gone to, and felt a surge of guilt: my knitting needles hadn’t surfaced since the last charity blanket square I’d produced twenty years ago as a Girl Guide and now my baby was reliant on sixteen-year-olds for its wardrobe. I hastily consulted Amazon and ordered a copy of Vintage Knits for Modern Babies, some wool and needles, and hoped I’d be able to find a YouTube video on how to cast-on. Meanwhile, I was unaware that around the country a hum of clicking needles was already picking up tempo; the post-war generation may struggle a little at first with homosexuality, but news of a baby is well within their comfort zone and the automatic reaction of many of our mums’ friends and friends’ mums, it seemed, was to reach for a couple of balls of Baby DK and a pattern.

By mid-November, I’d reached seventeen weeks and the misery of the nausea had been replaced by a renewed appetite for evening meals which I could now keep down. My weight started to increase – until now, despite the emerging bump, with two and a half months of minimal food and no exercise, both fat and muscle had been dropping off from the rest of my body. We started to socialise again; I was still rather prone to more severe travel-sickness than I was used to, but we managed to visit relatives in Wales and on the South Coast and for the first time in over twenty years in my family, talk was of babies. We went for an Indian meal with friends, one of whom was two months ahead of me, and we were able to share both the exasperation of being told for the fiftieth time that ginger could solve the sickness problem (it wasn’t even slightly effective for either of us) and the excitement of what we both had ahead. The fact was, that pregnancy was starting to become quite good fun.

And all this time I was still only just beginning to get my head round the miracle inside me. I was reminded of the> colourful Russian Dolls I had as a child, especially when I learnt that if our child was a girl, she would already have a full complement of eggs ready to produce her own children: another two generations there, inside me. I was almost ready to don a bright yellow headscarf and paint my lips bright red. But if only birth was as easy as a brief twist and pull of two bits of painted wood…

Article: by Lindsey, West Yorkshire 6th July 2013

Read more blogs following Lindsey’s Pride Angel Journey at www.prideangel

Filed Under: Family & Friends Tagged With: lesbian fertiliy story, lesbian getting pregnant, lesbian known donor, Lesbian mums, Lesbian parenting, prideangel story

Are you soon to be a new gay or lesbian parent?

May 22, 2013 By prideangel.com

I’m Adam and currently working on the second series of the prime time show Don’t Just Stand There….I’m Having Your baby which airs on BBC3 at 9pm. Last series, first time Dads-to-be were shown how to be more supportive during their partner’s pregnancy and during the birth itself.
In one to one sessions with a fully trained midwife, the Dads were taught about many aspects of pregnancy and labour including cervical dilation, pain relief, massage, breathing techniques and birthing positions.

They were also given practical home work like wearing an empathy belly, looking after a robotic baby and watching a birthing video. We wanted to help him become the perfect birthing partner for Mum and make the whole experience more positive than petrifying!

Last year we worked closely with the Royal College of Midwives in the making of this series and they were very pleased with the result. The first series was very successful and the Dads we filmed found the experience both positive and rewarding as they became more equipped to deal with the arrival of their little ones.

This series we would love to meet and speak with gay and lesbian couples who are currently on the journey into parenthood. I would really like to hear your story and find out, as a first time parent, what this means to you and also how we could help.

If you have any questions and fancy a chat about the series please feel free to call me on 0208 008 4901 or email me on adam.lonergan@bbc.co.uk. Thanks for your time and hopefully speak soon. Adam.

Article: 21st May 2013 www.prideangel.com

Filed Under: Family & Friends Tagged With: gay dads, gay families, gay new parents, gay parenting, lesbian families, Lesbian mums, tv show gay families

Mothercare voucher competition winner | Two mums personal journey

July 15, 2012 By prideangel.com

When I met Caitlin in January 2010 I couldn’t help but fall for her. She was originally from Scotland and her charm and the way she made me feel so special and the only girl in the world was immense! She already had 2 sons, Brett and Ashton whom she had via a clinic by artificial insemination. This cost her a fortune but she wanted to be a mother so much.
We became inseparable and moved in together in March 2010. The boys became like my own, they didn’t get on with Caitlin’s ex and their father was an anonymous donor. They called me mum from months into us all living together. In August 2011 we had our civil ceremony with our closest family and friends…I felt the happiest girl alive!

Thinking back I had an extreme urge to have a baby of my own from around October 2011. The feeling was so strong and I told Caitlin that it was time to look at the options available to us. We found the Pride Angel site in December 2011 and spent hours trawling the sperm donors on the site and looking at information about how to do ‘home insemination’. Caitlin had always found the insemination at the clinic too ‘clinical’ so we decided to try ourselves. We found an ideal sperm donor and after a few messages back and forth decided that we really wanted him to help us.

I felt uncertain about meeting our potential donor but Caitlin arranged to meet him to find out more. He was a kind, caring and genuine man. His sister had problems conceiving and therefore he wanted to help those people who can’t have children themselves. He told us to let him know as soon as we knew when I was ovulating and we could arrange to meet him for the sperm donation. I bought the deluxe home insemination kit, we did a few tests runs before the big day.

I used ovulation sticks to monitor my most fertile days and it was whilst we were away at a family resort (on our last day there luckily!) that we got the smiley face and I was ovulating! We contacted our donor straight away and arranged to collect the sample.

That evening we used the speculum, syringe and syringe extenders. We bought a special lubricant which helped the sperm live longer and move quicker. It was so tense at first, we couldn’t quite believe how far we had come since we first met. We managed to relax in the comfort of our own home, surrounded by candles and a few cheeky drinks 🙂 After the insemination I lay with my bottom in the air against the wall for 20 minutes. I climaxed twice, legs still up the wall. (this is advised as gentle contractions in your uterus can help the sperm along into the cervix)

The 2 week wait was horrendous. I went through a rollercoaster of emotions… sad, angry, excited, worried…
On the day of my due period Caitlin was worried about me, we were both so stressed and just needed to know the outcome. So… we did a test. There was one dark line across the test instantly and we needed a vertical line for a positive. Caitlin wouldn’t let me see it until the full 3 minutes was up!

As we uncovered the test after 3 minutes Caitlin had a massive grin across her face. She had snuck a peek just before. There was a line making a cross = positive. We could not believe it. After one attempt we were pregnant!! I screamed my head off and Brett and Ashton rushed in, we told them and tears streamed down their faces. I could barely breathe and couldn’t believe it. The day after we did further tests just to make sure…all positive.

I am now 4 weeks pregnant and couldn’t be happier. We are already buying baby stuff and making plans for our new arrival! We would always recommend the Pride Angel insemination kits. We believe the syringe extenders were vital in getting the sperm in exactly the right place.

Thank you Pride Angel!! We will keep you updated on the progress of our baby bean.

Winning article: by Rachel and Caitlin 15th July 2012

Filed Under: Family & Friends Tagged With: lesbian family, lesbian getting pregnant, lesbian having family, lesbian home insemination, Lesbian mums, Lesbian parenting, lesbian sperm donation, lesbian using sperm donor, two mums

Gay magazine looking for gay and lesbian couples who have become parents through Pride Angel

August 26, 2011 By prideangel.com

QX Magazine is looking for gay couples who have become parents through Pride Angel to talk about their experiences in a feature about gay parenting. Although they are a magazine predominately targeted at homosexual men they would welcome lesbian couples to reply as well, given that this seems to be a widespread issue affecting all gay people. They would also like to talk to gay male sperm donors who have had children with lesbian couples and retain some modicum of parenting contact.
If you are willing to take part then we will send over a brief interview via email. QX magazine are basically looking to assess how easy you find it to be a gay parent in Britain in 2011 and whether you have ever encountered any prejudice from other parents? What was it like making the decision to have a child and how easy was the procedure of going about it? Any other issues you think we should be aware of we’d be grateful to hear about.

Filed Under: Family & Friends Tagged With: gay co-parent, gay dads, gay father, gay magazine, gay parenting, gay sperm donor, Lesbian mums, Lesbian parenting

Gay and lesbian parenting research – can you help?

February 24, 2011 By prideangel.com

Would you like to take part in some cutting edge, exciting new research?

Emilie Garvey, an undergraduate Sociology student at Newcastle University, is interested in hearing from lesbian and gay individuals and couples to take part in an exciting project in a new and expanding area of research: Assisted Reproduction and the Alternative Family. The aim of the study is to explore the experiences of same-sex couples in their decision-making processes involved in starting a family of their own with the aid of assisted reproduction technologies. The study also welcomes participation from gay and lesbian individuals who might start a family in the future or who simply would like to offer an opinion or point of view for the research.

Why is the study being done?

Recent changes in legislation have widened the options available for same-sex couples who wish to start a family. Media portrayals of celebrity couples undergoing such processes have also recently increased public awareness of the decision making process, the social stigma that such couples might have to face and have offered a chance to ‘look inside’ the ‘Alternative Family’. This study, however, aims to research the decision making processes involved prior to, and throughout, the process. The researcher also hopes gain an in depth understanding of the obstacles and hurdles which affect same-sex couples in the UK who wish to have a family of their own.

Am I eligible to take part?

If you are a lesbian woman or gay man, single, in a relationship or in a civil partnership, who have experience of assisted reproduction in starting a family, or who would simply like to offer the researcher an opinion on the issues involved, you are eligible to take part in this study.

To read more go to http://bit.ly/hlKLTU

Filed Under: Insemination Tagged With: alternative families, gay dads, gay families, gay family, gay parenting, Lesbian mums, Lesbian parenting, same-sex families

Zack Wahls defends gay marriage and being raised by lesbian mums

February 12, 2011 By prideangel.com

Zach Wahls a 19-year-old University of Iowa engineering student defended gay marriage in a rousing testimony in front of the Iowa House of Representatives this month. Zack Wahls spoke out against a resolution which would end civil unions in Iowa by describing his own experience as the son of two lesbian partners.
“Our family really isn’t so different from any other Iowa family,” said Wahls. “When I am home, we go to church together, we eat dinner, we go on vacations.”

Wahls emphasized the typical nature of his upbringing, as well as his own success. He is an Eagle Scout and a small business owner. He also scored in the 99th percentile on the ACT. “If I was your son, Mr. Chairman, I believe I would make you very proud,” he said.

A sixth-generation Iowan, Wahls finished his testimony on an impassioned note. “In my 19 years not once have I ever been confronted by an individual who realized independently that I was raised by a gay couple,” he said. “And you know why? Because the sexual orientation of my parents has had zero effect on the content of my character.”

Wahls had previously written about the issue in the University of Iowa’s student newspaper:

Last fall, I had the opportunity, courtesy of Iowa Public Radio’s “The Exchange,” to talk with a Tea Partier about this very topic. When I mentioned that two lesbian women raised me, her face turned to shock and then concern. She asked if I ever had yearning to meet my father — an anonymous sperm donor.

My answer was — and remains — “no.” And no, I don’t feel damaged or that my childhood was somehow scarred. Maybe I have, in some way undetectable to me, been permanently harmed by having two moms. I guess I can’t be sure.

Watch Zach Wahls’s inspirational speach on youtube

Article: 11th February 2011 huffingtonpost.com

Read more about gay and lesbian parenting at www.prideangel.com

To read more go to http://bit.ly/fvin5T

Filed Under: Insemination Tagged With: gay marriage, gay marriage iowa, gay marriage usa, gay parenting, Lesbian mums, Lesbian parenting, raised by lesbians, Zach Wahls

Raised by a same-sex family?

December 29, 2010 By prideangel.com

With the recent good news that Elton John and David Furnish are celebrating the birth of their baby son, it brings to the attention same-sex families and how children who grow up to become young adults view their gay family upbringing.
Research has shown that same-sex parenting does not affect a child’s self esteem or well being, although it would be lovely to hear first hand, about people’s views and experiences. We would love to hear any feedback from any older children, young adults or adults regarding their views about how it has felt growing up as part of a gay family, the ups and downs or reactions from friends or family.

The Telegraph would like to run a news article about this subject area and would like any help regarding the views of adults raised by same-sex parents. They would treat any information received in a confidential and sensitive manner.

If you are able to help in any way, please contact Erika at Pride Angel for further information.

Go to http://bit.ly/hjkDGK

Filed Under: Insemination Tagged With: gay dads, gay family, gay parent, gay parents, Lesbian mums, lesbian parents, same-sex family, same-sex parent

Lesbian mums in dispute: fertility law, child maintenance and what makes a parent

November 14, 2010 By prideangel.com

A lesbian couple who had conceived a child together through donor insemination at a UK clinic recently ended up in the High Court after their relationship broke down. Their dispute involved a ten-year-old child, and the issue was whether the non-birth mother (who the court had already given legal decision-making status as a parent) should be ordered to make financial provision for her child.
The story itself of course isn’t that unusual – parents separate and divorce all the time and many end up in court arguing over contact or finances. What makes this case interesting is the family was created through fertility treatment and the partner pursued for maintenance was not the biological mother.

The court had to ask whether the lesbian non-birth mother was legally a ‘parent’ and – specifically – whether her full hands-on parenting involvement in her child’s life was enough to make her financially responsible, even though she was not the biological mother.

The answer seems pretty straightforward from a moral perspective. The non-birth mother had been fully involved in her child’s care and upbringing, had regular contact with her child, and had successfully (and not long before) applied to court for joint residence and parental responsibility. The law recognised her as a parent for the purposes of decision making and there was no legal father since the child was conceived with anonymous donor sperm.

The child would have only one parent (the birth mother) and considerably less financial security if the non-birth mother was not financially responsible. As the birth mother’s lawyers argued in court, it would be ‘grotesque’ for the court to decide the non-birth mother should not have to maintain a child she had helped bring into the world and was actively parenting.

The law is not always fair. The rules on financial responsibility say explicitly only a legal ‘parent’ can be ordered to pay. These rules are more black and white than those on matters of contact and parental decision-making, where the family courts often have discretion to act in the best interests of a child.

To read more go to http://bit.ly/dBcOte

Filed Under: Legal & Financial Tagged With: lesbian family, lesbian fertility treatment, lesbian legal parent, Lesbian mums, Lesbian parenting, lesbian parents, non-birth mother

Happy Mothers Day to all the Two mum Families

March 14, 2010 By prideangel.com

Do you ever wonder what mother’s day is like in a house with two mums?
In a home with lesbian parents raising children, the emphasis is on Mother’s day being about ‘Mothers’ or parents rather than on an individual.

Mother’s day in a house with two mums can be an extra special event. The only challenge however, is that when you are celebrating both of your mums on the same day, then mother’s day doesn’t actually celebrate either parent as an individual. Instead of being about one parent it is about both parents which makes it more of a family day.

Other challenges which differ in a house with two mums include: which adult does the organising if the children aren’t old enough themselves? How do you make sure both parents feel equally important? How does special attention between parents get divided? For example who makes breakfast in bed if the children aren’t old enough to do it by themselves?

In Erika and Karen’s house their daughter who is now 10 years old, delights in making special handmade gifts and individual mother’s day cards for both of them, and rushes into their bedroom in the morning, so not much of a lie in can be had!

Erika often chooses to help their daughter make breakfast in bed for Karen (biological mum). However Karen is always sure to give Erika (jokingly called ‘mum number 1’) her ‘special time’ which she has already requested to be a foot massage on mother’s day evening.

Erika said ‘Overall our mother’s day is all about having a relaxing family day together, visiting grandparents , having a walk on the beach, an ice cream and enjoying a watching a film together in the evening’ .

‘Gifts aren’t really necessary, all that’s needed is to show each other how much we are both valued and appreciated as parents’ added Karen.

We at Pride Angel wish all mums a very happy mother’s day and for all those hoping to become mums in the near future we wish you much happiness in your journey to become parents.

Read more about looking for a sperm donor

Pride Angel

Go to http://bit.ly/cqrleM

Filed Under: Moms Tagged With: Lesbian mums, Lesbian parenting, mothers day with two mums, two mums mothers day


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