Proud Parenting

LGBTQ Parents - Lesbian Moms & Gay Dads

Equal gay marriage has been passed in law in England and Wales

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Following our blog earlier in the year where we reported on the progress of the Marriage (Same Sex Couples) Bill we are delighted that the Bill has now received royal assent. After much debate and somewhat of a furore, this means that same sex marriage is now law, even though the first UK same sex marriages won’t take place until Spring 2014 once all the procedures and paperwork have been put in place.
Perhaps unsurprisingly there is some confusion around what the changes in the law actually mean. The key points to note are as follows:

1.It will be legal for couples of the same sex to marry in England in Wales.
2.Same sex couples can have a civil or religious wedding, but can only have a religious wedding if the relevant religious group decides to ‘opt in’ (which every religious group except the Church of England can do).
3.Civil partnership will remain an option for same sex, but not heterosexual, couples. (The legal differences between marriage and civil partnership are minimal in practice).
4.Same sex couples already in a civil partnership can convert their civil partnership into a marriage if it was registered in England and Wales. This will not apply to couples who registered a civil partnership in Northern Ireland, Scotland or abroad (who will not be able to marry unless they dissolve their civil partnership first).
5.For those splitting up, adultery is not a ground for dissolving a civil partnership and is only a ground for dissolving a same sex marriage if the adultery takes place with a member of the opposite sex (although in practice unreasonable behaviour usually gives grounds for dissolving a relationship where there has been infidelity anyway).
6.There is no international harmonisation of how or if a same sex marriage will be recognised in other countries. However, it is likely that a same sex marriage will be recognised in countries where same sex marriage is legal (such as France which has recently undergone similar changes).

The change in the law is certainly welcomed by us at NGA but the rules are undoubtedly complex. There has already been controversy over the decision to allow religious groups to opt in but this doesn’t apply to the Church of England. It seems an awkward concept that same sex couples are to be able to enter into a civil partnership but for there to be no option for heterosexual couples to do likewise.

There will be complex questions from couples in England and Wales who have married or registered a civil partnership abroad as to how their relationship will be recognised in England and Wales. Similarly, relocating couples will need to know whether their marriage will be recognised abroad. This will impact on issues such as tax planning or the breakdown of the relationship.

Much like with our campaigning work for a global harmonisation of surrogacy laws we feel that a more universal approach to same sex marriage is needed, but this is herculean task at a global level. In the meantime, UK same sex marriage is a huge step in the right direction.

Here at NGA we specialise in helping alternative families and have a strong background in cases involving the breakdown of relationships. We help with civil partnership dissolution, divorce and disputes relating to children and financial matters. We also help with pre registration and pre nuptial agreements to give clarity and prevent disputes in the future. If you would like to discuss your circumstances with us please contact Richard Perrins for more information.

Article: 13th August 2013 www.nataliegambleassociates.co.uk

Lesbian couple want their son to have ‘married mummies’

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Among the supporters of same-sex marriage outside the Palace of Westminster last week, PinkNews reported spotting a lesbian couple with their son who are desperate to marry.
Stella and her partner Lucy attended the vigil with their son Bailey. Stella told PinkNews.co.uk: “We have booked to get married next August. We just want our son Bailey to have same equivilent as all his friends, married parents. He knows the difference between marriage and civil partnership, that they are simply not equal. He just wants married mummies!”

Stella added: “We’re desperate for the law to pass in time for our wedding.” She praised the Out4Marriage campaign, initiated by PinkNews for its work on same-sex marriage equality.

Last night, the former Chief Constable of West Midlands Police, Lord Dear, had tabled a “fatal” amendment to deny the bill its second reading. In voting against the amendment, with 390 votes to 148, a majority of 242, the House of Lords allowed the passage of the bill to committee stage.

Article: 5th June 2013 www.pinknews.co.uk

Read more about gay and lesbian parenting at www.prideangel.com

Children of gay families can help win the fight for gay marriage

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Braiden Neubecker was sitting on the bed and her dad was shaving at the sink as the president made his historic remarks about gay marriage during his second inaugural address.
President Barack Obama talked about “our gay brothers and sisters,” and declared “if we are truly created equal, then surely the love we commit to one another must be equal as well.” In the kitchen after the address with her dads, David and Lee Neubecker, Braiden, who is 10, had a question. “Aren’t you guys married?” she asked, confused.

Her dads, in fact, were married — in a service in California, but the marriage was nullified in 2004 after the state’s Supreme Court declared all marriages performed from February to March that year invalid. “I don’t think she realized before that gays and lesbians couldn’t marry,” David Neubecker recalled in a recent phone interview with his daughter and The Huffington Post.

“I got upset,” she agreed, singing into the phone, “everybody should be treated equally.” Plus, she continued to her father, “it’s safer to be married because when you guys aren’t married it’s easier to break up and split apart.”

Braiden is now one of a number of children, many of them raised by gay or lesbian parents, who have stepped into the spotlight to directly address the courts and public as part of a debate in which they have long been central figures, but have rarely taken part. A week after Obama’s address the Neubeckers started talking again about the speech and the laws that prevented Braiden’s dads, who live in a suburb of Chicago, from getting married. Braiden had so much to say that David encouraged her to get out her journal and write it down.

A couple of drafts later, a letter written by Braiden was included in an amicus brief to the U.S. Supreme Court in time for the court’s two landmark cases on gay marriage in March. The amicus brief was from Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG), meant to show how the families of same-sex parents are affected when they are not allowed to marry.

For decades, those opposed to legalizing same-sex marriage have argued that they might somehow harm the children same-sex couples raise or adopt. In court in March, Justice Antonin Scalia, arguably the court member most staunchly opposed to gay rights, offered “one concrete thing” about legalizing same-sex marriage that could harm society.

“If you redefine marriage to include same-sex couples … you must permit adoption by same-sex couples,” he said in the hearing to determine whether Proposition 8, California’s law banning same-sex marriage, was constitutional. “And there’s considerable disagreement among … sociologists as to what the consequences of raising a child in a … single-sex family, whether that is harmful to the child or not.”

But Justice Ruth Bader Ginsberg pointed out that California gay couples already can legally adopt children. Sociologists, child welfare experts and pediatricians have argued that those raised by same-sex couples do just as well as their counterparts raised in heterosexual households.

“Its very surprising in many ways how uniform he results of the research have been,” said Charlotte J. Patterson, a psychology professor at the University of Virginia, who has been researching child development in same-sex households for more than 20 years. “What we’ve found is that what’s important is not the sexual orientation of the parents but rather the resources the parents can offer the kids and the quality of relationships with their children, and of course that’s true for gay and straight parents.”

Read more…

Article: 13th April 2013 www.huffingtonpost.com

CARDINAL DOLAN’S WACKY LOGIC

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When you try to defend an untenable position you wind up making arguments that defy logic. Case in point: Cardinal Dolan, who tells us that “…sexual love is intended [by God] only for a man and woman in marriage, where children can come about naturally.” Extrapolated to its furthest limit this argument means that infertile heterosexual couples who marry, couples beyond the child-bearing years who tie the knot, and straight couples who choose adoption over natural childbirth will pervert God’s intention should they marry. It is well that the majority of Americans are no longer bedazzled by such rhetorical legerdemain.

Gay marriage: MPs vote overwhelmingly in favour to legalise

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MPs tonight overwhelmingly backed David Cameron’s controversial plan to legalise gay marriage. After more than six hours of bitter debate, the Commons voted in favour of same-sex weddings by 400 votes to 175, a majority of 225. The Prime Minister risked the embarrassment of having to rely on Labour and Lib Dem MPs to secure victory, with more than 100 Tories predicted to vote against the measure.
But tonight he took to Twitter to defend the policy in the face of the biggest Tory rebellion in history.

‘Strong views exist on both sides but I believe MPs voting for gay people being able to marry too, is a step forward for our country,’ the Prime Minister wrote. Hours earlier the PM launched a last ditch attempt to persuade Tory MPs to back gay marriage, arguing it will ‘make our society stronger’. ‘I am a strong believer in marriage. It helps people commit to each other and I think it is right that gay people should be able to get married too,’ he said.

Salisbury MP John Glen warned it would cost the Tories votes at the 2015 election while Graham Brady, chairman of the 1922 Committee, said he had ‘serious misgivings’ about assurances from ministers about ensuring that religious freedom will not be compromised. Former minister Edward Leigh said: ‘We should be in the business of protecting cherished institutions and our cultural heritage otherwise what, I ask, is a Conservative Party for?’

Tory grandee Sir Roger Gale risked controversy when he appeared to liken gay marriage to incest, ‘Marriage is the union between a man and a woman, has been historically, remains so,’ he said.

Home Secretary Theresa May, pictured leaving No. 10, urged Tory MPs to back the plans ‘because we are Conservatives’ It had been suggested, he said, that a civil union bill could be created ‘that applies to all people irrespective or their sexuality, or their relationships, and that means brothers and brothers and sisters and sisters and brothers and sisters as well’. Sir Roger stressed he did not subscribe to the notion, but added he recognised the merit in the argument.

However a number of gay MPs from all parties spoke movingly in favour of the reforms. His fellow Conservative Margot James (Stourbridge) warned: ‘The modernisation of the Conservative Party is not yet complete.’ Openly gay former Tory minister Nick Herbert said later he was ‘delighted’ by the result of the vote. He said: ‘The Commons has voted by a substantial majority for equal marriage, with support across all the major parties.

‘The Bill will now be examined in detail, but we believe today’s vote was a momentous step towards the goal of securing the freedom for gay people to marry.’ Culture Secretary Maria Miller was accused of pushing a policy which was an ‘irrelevance’ which did not feature in the Tory party manifesto. Opening the debate, Mrs Miller said: ‘What marriage offers us all is a lifelong partner to share our journey, a loving, stable relationship to strengthen us and a mutual support throughout our lives.

‘I believe that this is something that should be embraced by more couples. The depth of feeling, love and commitment is no different between same-sex couples than opposite-sex couples. ‘This Bill enables society to recognise that commitment in the same way too, through marriage. We are doing this very clearly as an important part of the way we can make this country a fairer place to live.’

Five of the most prominent Right-wingers in the Cabinet came out fighting for the policy in a last-minute attempt to rescue Mr Cameron from the worst Tory revolt of his leadership. Work and Pensions Secretary Iain Duncan Smith decided to back the push for same-sex unions out of loyalty to the Prime Minister. Justice Secretary Chris Grayling, a standard bearer of the Tory right, argued that the ‘collapse of marriage and families’ has ‘absolutely nothing to do with homosexuality’.

But scores of Tories rejected the plea of their leader. The Labour Whips office suggested that 139 Tories had voted against the Bill, with 132 in favour. Dozens more did not vote including several government ministers. Northern Ireland Secretary Owen Paterson voted against the legislation, thought to be the only senior minister to do so. Defence Secretary Philip Hammond and Attorney General Dominic Grieve were the two most senior figures to stay away from tonight’s vote, after the vast majority of Cabinet figures agreed to back the PM. Housing minister Mark Prisk also did not vote

Around 20 Labour MPs voted against the bill at second reading, along with Lib Dem MP Gordon Birtwistle. The result meant a record number of Tory MPs rejected the leadership’s policy, far greater than the 95 Conservatives who voted against post-Dunblane gun reforms introduced by the Major government. However, Downing Street sources stress that because Tories were given a free vote those who opposed Mr Cameron’s pro-gay marriage stance were not technically rebelling.

After the result was announced, Deputy Prime Minister Nick Clegg hailed the result as a ‘landmark’ for equality in Britain. He said: ‘Tonight’s vote shows Parliament is very strongly in favour of equal marriage. No matter who you are and who you love, we are all equal. Marriage is about love and commitment, and it should no longer be denied to people just because they are gay.’

Article: 5th February www.dailymail.co.uk

Gay marriage: MPs to vote on new proposals

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MPs are set to get their first chance to vote on plans to allow same-sex marriages in England and Wales. The Marriage (Same Sex Couples) Bill will be debated in Parliament on Tuesday 5 February, the leader of the Commons Andrew Lansley has announced.
The bill will allow same-sex marriage and let religious organisations which want to, to offer them, the culture department says. The plans have divided the Conservative Party – its MPs will get a free vote.

Labour and the Lib Dems back the proposals to legalise same-sex marriage, but Labour said the exemption for the established Church was “disappointing”. The Church of England and Roman Catholics, among other denominations, have voiced opposition to the plans and are expected to oppose the bill, even with its caveats. But some religious groups, including Quakers, Unitarians and Liberal Judaism, are in favour.

Culture Secretary Maria Miller told the Commons in December that no religious organisation “will ever be forced to conduct marriages for same-sex couples”. She said the legislation – which will published on Friday ahead of the bill’s second reading – would include a “quadruple lock” to protect religious freedom.

Faith schools

The bill is set to specifically exclude the Church of England and Church in Wales to avoid a clash between Canon Law – which defines marriage as that between a man and a woman – and UK civil law. But a spokesman for the Department for Culture, Media and Sport said that if the Church of England did want to opt-in to offering same-sex marriages it could, saying a process for doing so was to be set out in the bill.

A public consultation on plans for same-sex marriage received 228,000 submissions. In its response to the consultation the government says it has no plans to change the definition of adultery or non-consummation of a marriage – which means neither could be cited as grounds for divorce in a same-sex marriage, unless the adultery was with someone of the opposite sex.

Culture Secretary Maria Miller outlining the government’s approach last month They also dismiss the fear that the terms “husband” and “wife” could be removed as a result of same sex marriages. They also say that teachers “particularly in faith schools will be able to continue to describe their belief that marriage is between a man and woman whilst acknowledging and acting within the new legislative position which enables same sex-couples to get married”.

The Scottish Government has published proposed legislation of its own to introduce gay marriage. Under the plans, religious and faith groups would need to “opt in” to perform same-sex marriages.

Article: 24th August 2013 www.bbc.co.uk

Maryland gay couples celebrate new year by getting married

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Numerous gay couples across Maryland will be celebrating the New Year with a bumper toast as they share the occasion with their marriages, the first to be conducted following a referendum to legislate for marriage equality.
The US state of Maryland voted in favour of civil equal marriage in November with 52.4% of voters backing equality.

In the run up to the vote, Hollywood actor Brad Pitt agreed to donate $100,000 (£62,000) to help the Human Rights Campaign raise money for its efforts to support equal marriage initiatives in several US states, including Maryland.

New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg, who previously studied in the state, also donated $250,000 (£155,000) to the pro-marriage equality campaign in Maryland last week.

A bill to legalise same-sex marriage in Maryland was passed by the state General Assembly in February 2012 and signed into law on 1 March 2012, by Governor Martin O’Malley. However, opponents of marriage equality successfully gathered enough signatures to force a referendum on the decision.

In Baltimore, the state’s largest city, Mayor Stephanie Rawlings-Blake will attend ceremonies at City Hall. Same-sex couples celebrated the first equal marriages in the state of Maine on the 29 December.

Article: 31st December 2012 www.pinknews.co.uk

The Pride Angel team wishes you all a very Happy New Year!

Three in five voters are in support of gay marriage

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More than three in five voters support David Cameron’s wish to introduce gay marriage, according to a poll conducted for the Guardian. The strong backing for a change in the law comes after the archbishop of Westminster queried the democratic legitimacy of the coalition plans.
Vincent Nichols, head of the Roman Catholic church in England and Wales, used a strident Christmas Day message to blast the “shambolic” process that could soon put provision for same-sex weddings on the statute book. “There was no announcement in any party manifesto; there’s been no green paper; there’s been no statement in the Queen’s speech. And yet here we are on the verge of primary legislation,” Nichols told the BBC.

The plans also came under fire from a high court judge, who said the government should instead be looking at the “crisis of family breakdown”. Sir Paul Coleridge said too much time and energy had been put into the debate on gay marriage for “0.1% of the population”.

The ICM poll conducted just before Christmas found 62% of voters now support the proposals, with half this number – 31% – opposed. Most previous polls have found opinion leaning the same way, although the two-to-one margin revealed on Wednesday is particularly emphatic. An ICM online survey for the Sunday Telegraph in March asked the identical question – which expressly reminds people that the option of civil partnerships already exists for gay couples – and established a 45%-36% lead for the reformers.

That significant hardening of opinion during the year will encourage Cameron, whose embrace of gay marriage has proved controversial, not only with religious leaders but also with the Tory backbench. And the new poll reveals a particularly significant swing towards the reform among the Tory base.

Although Labour and Liberal Democrat supporters remain more likely to support gay marriage, with respective majorities of 67% and 71%, there is now also a majority among Conservative supporters. Among those who voted Tory in 2010, gay marriage now enjoys 52%-42% backing, a big turnaround from ICM’s survey in March, which recorded 50%-35% opposition from 2010 Conservative voters.

Both men and women support gay marriage, although the majority is bigger among female voters, 65% of whom support gay marriage, compared with 58% of men. Gay marriage is backed by 60%+ majorities across every nation and region, the 74% majority recorded in Wales being the most emphatic. There is a pro-gay-marriage majority, too, in every social class – although the majority is somewhat smaller in the DE class, which contains the lowest occupational grades. Fifty-one per cent of this group is in favour of the change, as opposed to 68% in the C1 clerical grade, which emerges as the most enthusiastic.

Sharper differences emerge when the results are analysed across the age ranges. The over-65s resist the proposal, by 58% to 37%, but support is progressively stronger in younger age groups. The pro-reform majority is 64% among 35-64s, 75% among 25-34s, and an overwhelming 77% among 18-24s.

The results will encourage the view of Cameron and the deputy prime minister, Nick Clegg, who has also set significant store by the proposal, that they are on the right side of history. But with opinion moving so fast in favour of gay marriage, enthusiasts on Wednesday demanded to know why the government had provided for such sweeping exemptions for religious groups. Among other things these provide for a wholesale exemption for the Church of England, such that – were the currently opposed C of E to embrace gay marriage at some later date – fresh legislation would be required to extend the reform to it.

As the Guardian poll findings were released, the Liberal Democrat minister Lynne Featherstone said that Roman Catholic leaders who were attacking the government’s gay marriage plans were being “shameful”.

In a Boxing Day post on her blog, she singled out comments from Nichols and from the Rt Rev Mark Davies, the Roman Catholic bishop of Shrewsbury, and said they wrong to suggest that churches would be forced to conduct gay weddings and wrong to dismiss the policy as illegitimate on the grounds that the coalition did not have a mandate for it. “It is very disappointing that religious leaders who object so forcefully to equal marriage seem to have so little faith in their own beliefs,” said Featherstone, an international development minister who used to be minister for equalities.

“If their religious beliefs are that marriage can only be between a man and a woman – they should have the confidence in their flocks to believe that too. And if it is their own flocks’ potential for disagreeing with them that is their real fear – then that is a matter for religious leaders and their congregations to sort out.”

Article: 26th December 2012 www.guardian.co.uk

Changing the law for gay marriage will benefit children of gay parents

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The Chief Executive of Barnardo’s, Anne Marie Carrie, has welcomed the government’s decision to allow gay couples to marry from 2013. Writing for PinkNews.co.uk, she says it will be of enormous benefit to gay parents and their children. Amid the debate around equal marriage rights for gay couples, very little has been said about the importance of this move for children and young people.
On Father’s Day, Barnardo’s announced it supported gay marriage. This won’t have come as a surprise to anyone who was aware of our campaign to have more gay couples come forward as foster carers or adoptive parents. Equality and respect are at the very heart of Barnardo’s basis and values because we believe every person is different but equal.

And throughout this debate, I have been saddened that so little attention has given to some very important people: the children and young people who live with gay parents or carers. We work with some wonderful same-sex couples who offer stable and loving homes to children and young people, and I believe offering those couples the right to marry would help them and their children feel even more accepted and included.

Because, for me, this debate touches on two very important issues – homophobic bullying of young people, and Barnardo’s efforts to find loving homes for vulnerable children. Equalisation of marriage could have a big impact in both of these areas, and that is why I am speaking up again.

Barnardo’s works with 200,000 vulnerable young people every year, and many of the young gay people we work with have told us that homophobic bullying is a major concern for them. Equalising marriage will not solve this problem, but it will contribute towards a society in which sexual orientation is not a barrier to acceptance for young people.

Equalising marriage will also send a message to potential gay parents and carers, that if they want to start a family they will have the same options for legal recognition as heterosexual couples. Barnardo’s leads in encouraging people of all orientations to consider becoming adopters or foster carers. When the number of children being taken into care is growing, it’s not just right that we do this but vital.

I feel it is difficult for schools or, indeed, the government to promote genuine equality for gay couples when the law makes an unnecessary distinction between them and heterosexual couples. As the debate rumbles on, I hope more consideration will be given to the UK’s gay parents and carers and, of course, their children. Because the current law on marriage doesn’t just discriminate against couples but entire families.

Article: 14th December 2012 www.pinknews.co.uk

AMERICA’S CHANGING MORES

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Is America growing more liberal? It depends. On the subject of gay marriage the answer is yes. Legalizing marijuana? Yes. But the Washington Post’s Aaron Blake reports that the nation is trending more conservative when it comes abortion and gun control.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/the-fix/wp/2012/11/30/is-america-becoming-more-socially-liberal/

Compiling polls from the Post, Gallup and CBS News from 1995 to the present, Blake’s article shows divergent trends on these issues. How might these trends affect the queer community? Along with greater opportunities for queer couples to marry, the community might experience a loosening of adoption restrictions. If you want to lower abortion rates, it can be argued, one way to achieve this is to allow queers to marry and adopt children who are unwanted by their pregnant mothers. American society may be poised to embrace the viewpoint. This odd state of societal affairs may eventually result in an explosion of diversity in American households. May it happen soon!

Hal W. Lanse, PhD is the queer adoptive parent of an adult son and the author of The Rainbow Curriculum: Teaching Teens About LGBT Issues.