Have you seen the latest GEICO commercial? The one in which Maxwell the pig is on a date when the car breaks down? The girl he’s with, apparently, wants to make out. A group called One Million Moms has posted a complaint about the commercial. Their website says:
Geico has succeeded in offending its customers with its inappropriate advertisement. One Million Moms has received numerous complaints because Geico’s new commercial plays with the idea of bestiality. Parents find this type of advertising repulsive and unnecessary.
First of all, what do they mean by “numerous complaints?” Three? Ten? A hundred? And what have they done to verify that the complaints are from legitimate parents? Are there really that many adults out there who cannot distinguish between a call to bestiality and anthropomorphism–an ancient literary device used in folktales and children’s literature since time immemorial?
I have a simple solution: One Million Moms should pool their resources to fly Maxwell the pig and the GEICO gecko to Montreal and throw them a lavish gay wedding. Gay marriage is legal in Canada so once Maxwell and his beau are hitched everything will be on the up-and-up and the One Million Moms can relax and turn their attention to more pressing matters, like protesting Kyra Sedgwick who (I have it on good authority) gets it on with Bacon.
–Hal W. Lanse, PhD is the author of THE RAINBOW CURRICULUM: TEACHING TEENS ABOUT LGBT ISSUES (Queer Street Books, Inc.)