Proud Parenting

LGBTQ Parents - Lesbian Moms & Gay Dads

Never Give Up!

By

“If you must begin then go all the way, because if you begin and quit, the unfinished business you have left behind begins to haunt you all the time.”
– Chögyam Trungpa

My Granny used to say, “Finish what you start!” It didn’t matter what it was for either. I could be eating something and not want the rest of my food and I would be told I had to finish it. My Grandmother was adamant about me finishing school, my homework, my piano lessons, (Of which I did not finish, and yes it haunts me!), etc. She was the type of woman that once her mind was made up on something she saw it through to the end. It was one of her missions, I believe, in life to instill the same tenacity in her family.

Needless to say, it took until my adulthood to really get that lesson. But once I had enough things haunting me because I did not see them through, I started to get the point. It is important to see things through to completion, not just so they don’t bug you for the rest of your existence, but also it shapes who you are as a person and helps you to build your self-esteem. You can say, “Wow, I’ve accomplished my task! I feel really good about that!” Then it is off your mind and away you go to the next feat you will accomplish.

Life can be likened unto a series of steps that you take to get to your ultimate goal. The goal, is to complete life knowing that you have lived out your purpose, or calling. You maybe thinking that you have no clue as to your purpose in life. That’s OK. You don’t have to sweat that, you just have to live the best life you can. Everyone is called to do that. The best way to accomplish that is to learn to fully love and accept yourself and others around you. Once you start to do that, the rest works out on it’s own.

Before she died, my Granny lived. I mean LIVED! She struck out on her own somewhere between the ages of 16 – 18. My family is not sure because my grandmother would never tell us exactly when she left home, and those who really knew had passed on or would not tell us. That really does not matter though. The point is she was determined to live full out, and boy did she! She is not famous for anything, except being a living saint and a shining example of how to be love, and that was enough for her to touch the heart of everyone that she met. She worked hard and loved all the more. What a legacy!

Because my grandmother didn’t give up on her goals, and dreams – she finished what she started – she left a family that still feels her love even though she is not physically with us today. That is how to live. That is how I want to live.

Do you have a goal in mind? Do you have a task that you are doing in which you feel like giving up on? Do you feel like giving up on yourself, or life? I encourage you to keep at it. Learn to love yourself, and use that love to give you the courage and determination to keep going. The bottom line in all of this is, if you give up on what you started, you give up on yourself. If you don’t love and believe in you first, no one else will.

Need a little help with learning to love yourself or living fully? Contact me for your free discovery coaching session today! http://alflemming.com/contact Life coaching is a great way to help you finish what you started!

Number Two of the Top 14 Mistakes for Surrogates and Carriers to Avoid: Not having a face to face meeting before any contracts a

By

On ward with our 14 Mistakes to Avoid For Women Considering Becoming Surrogate Mothers or Gestational Carriers.

Mistake #2-Not having a face to face meeting before any contracts are signed

Why you need to have a face to face meeting: Yes people do live far a part (even overseas) at times and traveling can be tough but that is no excuse to ignore the need to meet your Intended Parents face to face before you sign a contract and agree to carry a baby for them. These are the people that you are going to have a long term relationship with. Would you ever consider becoming a mail order bride? I think not! Then don’t put yourself in the position of not meeting your Intended Parents until you are at your transfer or, heaven forbid, pregnant.

We all know that a phone call, e-mail, and, yes, even Skype can help a long distance relationship thrive but consider all you notice when you actually see someone in person! How they present themselves, what their handshake feels like, what their mannerisms are like, how you react to them and how they react to you. Chemistry can make or break a relationship and as we are all well aware!

Remember you are never a little bit pregnant and regrets after the fact do not make for an enjoyable surrogacy journey!

Sharon LaMothe
Infertility Answers, Inc.
http://infertilityanswers.org/

Where did these kids come from?

By

National advice writer, Steven Petrow, tackles a situation that many of us face on a regular basis. He answers this anonymous query on The Huffington Post: “If one more person asks me in front of my children where they come from or whose they are or where did we adopt them from, I’m going to explode. What’s the best way to deal with these very annoying questions?”

Steven writes: Whose children are they? “They are ours.” You are the child’s parent [or one of them]. Where did they come from? “They come from the same place all children come from.” And then smile. If you still find yourself pressed, feel free to invoke your zone of privacy and say simply, “That’s really a family matter, but thank you for caring.”

In the case of adoption, it’s also important to use the right language. Your son [or daughter] was born to his [or her] “birth mother” or “biological parents” – not “natural” or “real” parents. Even if, in fact, you did adopt the child, you should say plainly, “I’m his parent by adoption” rather than “adoptive parent,” which sounds like a qualified or second-rate kind of mom or dad. Finally, remember not to share too much information about your little one. Alas, not everyone [straight or gay] is as interested in your kid as you are.

If you have questions about LGBT manners, send them on over to queeries@live.com.

Stolen Idea

By

I have a blog at lifeisbetterthangood.blogspot.com. Yesterday, I found a new friend, Dena, at the Normanist Theory. (Read her. She’s in my list of blogs that I follow.) I’m borrowing her idea for this post. I was struck by her, “To my eight year-old self.” Storm is 8, so that is probably a good part of why I find this so intriguing.

Normally, I shun this line of thinking. I’m of the opinion that if you are happy where you are today, then you can’t think that you should have done anything differently. Even the smallest change in your earlier life could drastically change your present. (Think Back to the Future.) I am deliriously happy with my little life and my little family and my little house, so if pressed for an answer to, “If you had it to do over again, what would you do differently?”, I’d have to say, “Not one damn thing.”

So for the purpose of this list, I’m alleging that my eight year-old self will totally ignore my current 30 year-old self. Having known myself when I was eight, this is probably true anyway.

1. In September of your ninth grade year, you’re going to find yourself at the top of a staircase holding a huge stack of Cds. Put them down and hold onto the railing.

2. You know that boy, Harrison at your school? Be nice to him. He’s going to love you.

3. Don’t follow a boy to college. Go somewhere worthy of you, and when you get there, go to class. Everyday. Rain, sleet, hangover, just go.

4. Tell the truth. Tell the truth. Tell the truth.

5. Spend more time outside. Take the books with you if you must.

6. Don’t worry about your body. Days are soon coming when you will hate it. Cry about it if you have to, but don’t worry. It all works out.

7. Ask questions. Even when it seems silly or you feel stupid.

8. You shouldn’t worry about sharks so much. Educate yourself, but don’t be afraid. I’m 30, remember? No shark attacks, yet.

9. Don’t smoke. It’s not cool. It is disgusting. And Dawn hates it.

10. Who’s Dawn? Oh. In December of 2004, you’re going to go to a Christmas party just around the corner from your house. There’s going to be a woman wearing a red scarf. Memorize her. Don’t let yourself forget anything about this night.