Who I am and what I am about and hopeful for...

I am one who believes in “full disclosure” and I would like to paint a picture of me and my life so you can decide if there is a possibility of beginning, well, a beginning. As someone who writes for a living this is one of the hardest things I have had to write. I am 41, and had my own law firm but returned to a career in financial services for reasons that I will tell you about in a bit. I went to law school later in life after my best friend was killed by her husband. In my “firm” life I choose to represent mostly victims of domestic violence and am very passionate about making a contribution to that cause and causes that I believe in. My best friend says that I have a commanding presence and a wonderful energy. I am passionate, directed, responsible, loving and extremely giving in my work and in my relationships.

I am hopelessly complex and simple, a contradiction yes, but we are all contradictions in some things. Simply put, I value honesty above all else, especially when it comes to feelings. I am very old fashioned; I value hard work and have a no drama requirement in my personal life. I have a wonderful circle of friends from college and from law school. I can honestly say I am looking for an old fashion marriage. Is that possible? I am much better at being a partner than I am at being single. I have no time for games, head trips and the like and as a result call things as I see them.

I am at a point in my life where I am comfortable but, want to share life with a partner who wishes to build a mutual life and experience the world and all it has to offer, which could be traveling through Central America on busses exploring Mayan ruins or walking the streets of Istanbul, or dining in Rome. I have been blessed enough to have traveled, studied with Native American Medicine Men, lived all over the country, ranched buffalo and done a lot of pretty wild things. I want to share the rest of the world and my world with another.

I love to cook, entertain and spend time with my fiends and their children. Which brings me to another topic; my son; I have consistently found that as I tell men about him they run screaming from the room and that has left the dating scene a bit dry. I now can empathize with all of the heterosexual straight women my age who feel the biological clock ticking. I went back to corporate as an attorney in addition to the firm so as to prepare to be dad, replete with Volvo cross country wagon, 529 b plans, day care, diapers ( though potty training is almost done which makes the bar exam seem pleasurable) and play groups. I can say all I have even wanted to be is “dad”. I grew tired of waiting for the right time and realized that there is no perfect time. I planned very carefully, began the process, made my decisions and now have all that a man could desire, at least this man anyway I am not one who sits around and waits for things to happen to me I am better at making things happen. I guess it takes a special kind of person who gets utter joy from bath time, reading a story, a child running to you at the end of a day, when you feel beat to shit and this little person runs to you like you have been gone forever, throws themselves into your arms and says “daddy, love you”. Benjamin will be 4 in May and I am in the process of adopting a brother for him…so if kids are not in your future that is cool but they are in mine as well as grandchildren perhaps…

I found myself on this Christmas morning opening presents with my son, looking at what my life has become and I thought of all the firsts, and the only thing missing was another man to share them with. I know this sounds hopelessly, “heterosexual” or so I have been told, and if you feel that way, then we may not have anything in common, to me it is just normal. Hey at least I took the risk in telling you all of this and perhaps you do dream of holding a video camera at school plays, and perhaps raising 2 children…..I guess that is up to you. I always thought I had an immense capacity to love and having children has made that even greater. I would like nothing more that to have a life with another and raise a child together. However, I am willing to go it alone, so if kids scare the hell out of you, you are in the norm and I understand. However, I am not looking for a normal man.

I was raised in the western part of Massachusetts and went to college in Vermont and Law School here in Boston. I own my own home and share it with Benjamin James and two golden retrievers. If you are afraid of dog hair, we might not be a good match (LOL). I enjoy the time I have off with friends and at home, either cooking dinner, watching a movie or simply hanging out. A great Sunday morning is spent with the paper, coffee, a drive to Maine and a walk on the beach with the girls and Benjamin. Physically, I am a pretty regular man, friends describe me as handsome, I am definitely not a boy, and I am all man. I am about 5”10, 190 pounds; I have a big hairy chest, a great smile and wonderful eyes that light up when I am really into something. I would say that there is warmth and a light that comes from within me; I am kind, loving and intently passionate.

I fight for what I believe in am passionately emotional and feel that a hug is more intimate that the act of sex. That is not to say that I do not like sex, I would much rather make love that is all. Well, I have drawled on long enough, if any of this makes some kind of sense and strikes a cord with you let me know and we can go from there, if not, let me know that as well, if this does make sense to you and you want to talk let me know and I will give you my phone number and we can begin to begin. Heavy perhaps, honest, always, hope to hear from you