Seriously ... just two books?

Submitted by timbo646 on Sun, 08/23/2009 - 11:43pm

C and I went to the bookstore yesterday. While he was going to the bathroom, I wandered into the parenting/child section of the bookstore. I browsed books about taking care of babies. I'm going to be the stay-at-home dad and we are starting the adoption process very soon. So, I often spend my time thinking, "Wait, do I know how to take care of a baby?" I really think that the first day by myself I'll probably just spend the whole day, terrified, staring at the baby. Anyway, I saw many books that were interesting, but there is just so much to know. Obviously, though, I could totally skip the how-to-hold-your-baby-while-you're-breast-feeding chapter. Unnecessary and way too graphic.

C came back from the bathroom and I realized that I had to go, too. When I came back, he was looking at books about feeding and nutrition. There was one interesting book about making your own baby food. We looked at more books and began to see if there were adoption books. There were a few - one huge one that covered every single aspect of adoption. We then realized that we had seen no books on gay parenting in the section. C went to two of the staff members and they directed us to the gay section of the bookstore.

First, we were quite amused that the section was right next to the Christianity section, but I had to remind both of us that not all Christians are homophobes. (Still, it would be fun to see the look on some devout homophobic Christian's face when they go to buy their new Bible and their eye is caught by the gay tantric sex book!) Second, there are several books for lesbian parents. How many for gay dads? Two. Really. Two. Dan Savage's book and David Strah's book. That's it. There was a whole shelf of gay sex books, but not more than two on being a gay dad. What does that say?

That was the impetus of me starting this blog. Gay dads and prospective gay dads need to tell their stories so that we know we aren't alone. The world needs to hear our stories. It's great fun to watch a sitcom with a funny queen or two, but that is not the entirety of the experience of gay men. C and I are setting out on the adoption process on Tuesday - we are going to an Adoption Information Meeting at an agency we are very interested in using. Through this blog, I hope to share our experiences as prospective dads - and one day - dads.

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Some other books..

Submitted by dagnarus75 on Mon, 08/24/2009 - 3:57am.

Check out "The Complete Lesbian and Gay Parenting Guide" --- it's the book that I found most useful. I only read about half before I loaned it to a friend and never saw it again... ;-) But I was overall pretty impressed with it. It didn't talk exclusively about lesbian couples or gay couples, but also talked about "couples" that might consist of 3, or 4 parents, ex-spouses, polygamists, open adoption, everything. I think plushies and furries even made an appearance. The intent of it seems to be to not ascribe to any mold whatsoever. Be who you are and you can still do it... which I liked.

I looked at both the other books you talked about.. Dan Savage's was fun, but talked more about raising kids and less about how to get them, so I passed it by when I was shopping. David Strah's was a coffee table book. It was a collection of "aww that's cute" anecdotes that didn't actually contain any useful information.

I also looked a lot at the "Single dads" books, and I'd suggest not spending much time on any of them. They are almost always devoted to how to deal with your ex-wife than anything about raising kids on your own as a gay man.

If you want something more light-hearted that is actually a novel.. check out "The Martian Child" by David Gerrold (the book, not the movie.) That should be required reading for any (single) (gay) dads wanting to adopt. Made me cry, and whole-heartedly recommended.

Gay Parenting Book: Telling Our Stories

Submitted by anonymous on Sun, 08/30/2009 - 4:24am.

I am editing a book of stories about gay parenting as a companion to the short film I made detailing the wide variety of laws across the U.S. affecting our families. I would love for you to pass along the details to your readers.

The deadline for submissions is in a few weeks, so please do spread the word. Thanks!

-John Ireland, john@FindingFamily.us

THE FILM
"Finding Family: Gay Adoption in the U.S." is showing across the country on the film festival circuit and it had aired on PBS. You can learn more here:
http://www.FindingFamily.us

THE BOOK
We are creating a companion book profiling gay families entitled, "Finding Family: Telling Our Stories." You can learn more here:
http://www.FindingFamily.us/Book

We are seeking submissions from a wide range of gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender families for inclusion. Text and images may be edited, but you will be able to review the final draft before the book goes to press. We are happy to help polish your submission, so please do not be shy about sending in a draft.

DETAILS
Story: 500 words or less
Photo 1: Current family portrait (300 dpi at 4”x6”)
Photo 2: Snapshot from the day you met your child(ren)
E-mail text and images to submit@FindingFamily.us

You will receive a confirmation of receipt and a draft to review within a week of your submission, if it is accepted for publication.

Deadline for submissions: September 15, 2009. See link for more information:
http://www.FindingFamily.us/Book