Being a dad at a time when women dominate the role of primary caregiver

Women are better parents. Women are better at nurturing children than men. Men are incapable of being good parents. From the perspective of a father, a dad, a daddy, these stereotypes are alive and not so well.

It is time to give dads a shout out! If you read my personal blog post, "My life as a stay-at-home dad" (http://mikeandmichael.info/blog/2008/11/26/my-life-as-a-stay-at-home-dad/), you would understand the inspiration for this blog.

On Saturday, my husband, the kids and I were at our favorite restaurant having breakfast with another couple. The couple, who happens to be comprised of two men, has 20-month-old twins. During the course of our meal, no less than three women from different parties walked by, smiled, and made comments like, "oh, giving mom a break". I was not appalled that these women assumed I/we was/were straight – I found this funny; I was disappointed that in 2009, people, particularly women in my case, assume that men are not actively involved parents.

Funnily enough, I NEVER hear women comment to other women about "giving dad a break". We are fortunate in that one of us can stay at home to raise our children. I choose to stay at home. On the flip side, one of my best friends is a physician. She works full-time. She often gets comments that imply she is a bad mom since she is not at home with her children.

Normally this type of banter would not bother me. However, I have two sons. My sons have no mother - okay before you drive a stake through my heart, they have a biological mom by birth. Neither is parenting in the mom sense. We are their parents; we are their dads. So if I sound a bit sensitive about the “where is mom?” question, I am entitled to be.

Let us get rid of these stereotypes. Men need to unite, step up and speak out!

Note: you will also find this blog posted on Adoption Under One Roof (www.ouradopt.com) where I occasionally write about topics such as this one.