single gay man over forty, and adopting

Submitted by waiterguy on Sat, 11/29/2008 - 4:51am.

Adoption

well im excited, and scared,all at the same time. Im adopting at age 43. im single,gay,male,sane,stable,employed,and looking forward to building a family. there arent many sites offering advice or leads that fit my unique definiton. But i search anyway. I live in san diego county. I am going through San diego county adoptions. I must say they have been great so far. Non judgemental,welcoming, and after two final class days in december and my worker finishes her report i will be in the "adoption pool". i was offered the chance to have a child through a surrogate, but i felt there were so many kids who really need a forever home that that was what i was meant to do. Besides i dont need to procreate to feel complete. i just want to be abl;e to give a child a wonderful,loving,stable,and supportive life that they deserve.
i wonder how many single gay prospective dads there are out there. if your reading this drop me a line and let me know your story. I think together we can make a difference and help each other through this process. take care, rick

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like you

Submitted by on Sat, 11/29/2008 - 11:19am.

Hi Rick,
Like you, I became a single father 11 years ago and the experience has been fullfilling ever since.
I live in Rio, Brazil, and am willing to share my experience with you.
angelo

thanks so much

Submitted by waiterguy on Mon, 12/01/2008 - 1:15pm.

hey angelo,

thanks so much for writing. im really excited about this site because its interactive and you can talk to people in the same situation as you so the advice can be so helpful and appreciated. i just recieved my foster care liscence in the mail saturday, and my adoption worker gave me the green light as well, shes writing up the report as we speak. so any time after the 20th of this month is when my new chapter can begin.
im connecting with a group from the san diego gay and lesbian cneter called family matters. they have play dates, workshops, and support groups as well so thats exciting. so tell me when you adopted your child, what was your biggest fear going into the process/ and how did it turn out. and what was the biggest suprise that you had since becoming a parent? would love to hear back if you have time take care, rick

Me too

Submitted by SpringDT on Sat, 11/29/2008 - 3:50pm.

I'm in pretty much the same boat except I'm 53 - always have been a late bloomer. I'm in the Boston area and I'm working with the Home for Little Wanderers and they've been very open and welcoming. I'm a bit concerned about openness on the part of the social workers representing the kids - will they be receptive to a single gay man as forever father to the kids they need to place? Let's hope so.

thanks for writing

Submitted by waiterguy on Mon, 12/01/2008 - 1:25pm.

hello and thanks for responding,
my worker has been very supportive, and san diego county adoptions has been very open about me being gay. i think that sexuality shouldnt be the issue, but more importantly your love,kindnbess, and abiltiy to parent and give a child a safe,stable, loving home. have you checked the internet about any oher gay men or women adoptig from this organzation? or have you discussed it with your worker? just curious, best of luck to you im sure everything will work out great, take care, rick

gay friendly

Submitted by SpringDT on Mon, 12/01/2008 - 6:49pm.

I agree that being gay shouldn't matter and I'm very happy to be living in Massachusetts. the agency I'm using did an outreach seminar to the GLBT community which is how I connected with them. they've been completely understanding and supportive.

Some Local Help

Submitted by on Sun, 11/30/2008 - 11:10pm.

Waiterguy, congrats on choosing to become a dad. And especially for offering your loving home to a child in need of that love.

You may want to contact the LGBT center of San Diego, it's not just for singles any more. More and more gays and lesbians, single and partnered, are choosing to make their own families and LGBT centers are responding to those needs.

http://www.thecentersd.org/familymatters.php

The can offer TONS of support and resources as well as others in your similar situation.

thanks so much

Submitted by waiterguy on Mon, 12/01/2008 - 1:19pm.

hey thanks for responding!
im very excited, and yes i have allready been in contact with family matters. i was supposed to go to their prospective parents support group, but because of prop 7 they were holding the march that day.the lady who runs it is very nice. im hoping that i will meet other single gay parents, through this group so we can exchange ideas on single parenting. again thanks for responding,rick

Your not Alone

Submitted by ot2hvfvn on Sun, 11/30/2008 - 11:45pm.

You may be single but your not alone I am sure you have a supportive network of friends and family. Its never to late to give a child a forever home.. Congrats on making the first steps..

thanks so much

Submitted by waiterguy on Mon, 12/01/2008 - 1:21pm.

hey there,

thanks so much for taking the time to respond. i do have a great support system, and were all very excited. im scared and excited all at the same time. looks like that anytime after the 20 of december, its a go!!!!! wish me luck, and thanks again for taking the time to respond, rick

Good For You!

Submitted by m.muir on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 12:45am.

OMG.....we need more people like you in the world! I wish you all the best for you and your new family.
And 43 is only a number....I'm 42 and will be 43 when I have my 1st child (single parent)
Mark