Way Out Parenting: Is your boss a Narcissist, Tyrant, or Liberal? 8 Personalities and how they react to “I’m gonna be a parent!”

Submitted by Way Out Parent on Sat, 06/07/2008 - 11:26am.

If you already have children, you undoubtedly remember the day you went to work and told your boss you were going to be a parent. Until that moment, some of you had never even told your boss you were gay. What would they say, you wondered. What would they think? Would you lose your job just as you were about to assume complete responsibility for this other human life? You were too frightened to think rationally about the situation.

If you’re still an expectant gay parent who hasn’t faced this challenge, don’t panic. You’ll get through this hoop just as you’ve gotten through all the others on your quest. You simply need to be realistic about your expectations. There are many kinds of bosses, and you should be prepared for them to receive your news in a way that is absolutely consistent with their personality type—because people, bosses included, rarely deviate from their norm.

The chart below identifies eight of the most common personality types of bosses and how each is likely to respond to your news. Remember, the bottom line at work is that few people really care about you on a personal level. They have their own agendas, and they’re primarily concerned with how your news will affect them. Don’t expect approval, though it’s certainly nice when you get it.

Boss Personality Type	What this boss may say	What this boss may be thinking
The Narcissist	”You mean you didn’t feel fulfilled enough just working for me? You needed something more?”	I wonder if gay men find me attractive. Is he attracted to me?
The Homophobe	”What do you want me to say? That’s an HR issue. Go tell them.”	There goes my plan to get rid of the dyke. They’ll never let me downsize a pregnant lesbian.
The Mother Hen	”Come right here. Let me give you a big hug.”	Do the gays dress their babies in pink and blue, or do they have their own color coding system? I’ll need to Google that before the surprise shower.
The Liberal	”Good for you! Now we need to push this company toward domestic partnership benefits.”	I can do a great blog entry about this for dailykos.com. I’ll call it Gay Haters Can’t Seem to Stop Gay Parents.
The Codependent	”Will you be taking the full three-month leave?”	Oh God! I don’t even know half of what she does on a daily basis. How am I supposed to keep things going? I’ll need a much bigger dose of Lexapro to get through this maternity leave.
The Sexual Harasser	”You should have asked me for a sperm donation. I’m always ready to get into action for a good cause.”	She doesn’t look like any lesbian I know. Now I really want to #$@ her!*
The Alcoholic	”This calls for a celebration. We’re going out for a drink right after work. I won’t take no for an answer.”	I hope I can make it that long. My hands are shaking already.
The Tyrant	“You call this news? I only want news if it affects our stock price. Now get out of here!”	What a loser. He’ll never get to the top.