Passing the time, waiting...waiting...waiting...

What a nice weekend!
It was a quite weekend at home with my Doll. We kept quite busy on Saturday with all my tinkering around, that when on Sunday when a day long rainstorm came along we were able to sit back comfortably and enjoy it. We don't have very many rainy Sunday's here so when they come by you have to enjoy them, stay in, play cards make a big homemade dinner, movie marathon, or just lots of cuddles.
Doll loves a rainy day, and they remind me of home.
Most the days back home were Gray & overcast days, except for the mid-winter when the sun would shine so high and bright it would nearly blind a person from the glare of the iced over snow drifts. Funny image, I remember all the drivers back home would wear their winter gloves, hats, scarves, and sunglasses.
I don't miss the snow but I guess Doll must, since we are going back home sooner rather than later. I held off, pushed later further and further but now we are trying to have a child we do have to leave sunny Florida.
See, Florida has very few rights for us, and what they do have on the books they want to rid me of anyhow. Like, taking my health insurance away since its provided to me by Doll's employer. NOW GOSH, we cant have that.
But we have better "Donor" rights here than home, New York.
New York has the adoption thing going for it, sure, I can't be named on the birth certificate but I can adopt my Doll's child as a co-parent. Florida would never offer us this.
I also hear our home sweet home NY State is recognizing out of state same sex marriages these days. Incredible job NYers.
We are not married though, we are considered Domestic Partners only on our health insurance documents. I never thought having a ceremony would mean much to me if it
if it didn't mean much to anyone else, including our government. I just figured I would wait until we could legally join together where ever and when ever we wanted. I also figured it was only a matter of time before it would happen. Longer feat than expected. I guess if NY State is affording certain rights for out of state marriages that a conversation in regards to a certain Canadian ceremony may be not too far off in the future.
I can almost hear her HELL NO to the Canada idea now. (Hay Hay, Now Now, Its not me, its Canada.)
Its scary, the leaving thing. We want to have the baby in NY. We NEED to have the baby in NY. Our entire support system is in NY. Our family, our friends, and our future.
But letting go of what we have built for ourselves here is going to be hard. Our "real" jobs, our "real" pay, owning the roof over our heads. We have a nice garden, live just 5 minutes to the beach, 2 minutes to the park, and a morning drive to some of the most beautiful springs my whole world.
But I look again and see how we are missing our nieces and nephews grow. Our friends get married, great camping trips, and family barbeque's, Christmas...

I guess its all about starting over, again. And doing it better than before. I suppose that is
going to be the scariest thing about having a child for me.
The F word, Failure...