ProudParenting.com - gay dads - Comments

Starting to feel secluded...

ricknsocal — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 23:31:27 -0700

I too am a stay home dad in Southern California- just today and had a very similar feeling in which you describe in your blog. Our daughter is now 15 months, family visits on the weekends, friends have gone about there lives and my partner works long hours. I see many groups of stay home moms meeting and wish that I was able tomeet other men whom are in a similar situation. Glad to hear Im not the only one out there...I knew I wasn't...

Daddy

Wed, 18 Jun 2008 16:56:08 -0700

I am also a stay at home Dad. I put so much of my younger life into working I had not time to give a family any thought. I was married to a woman. Last year she left me and I had to fight for my Daugther. In Aug of 07 I came out. He now husband told her to kids (and cats) or me. That was back in Dec 07.

It was very hard at 1st, but 7 months later its is getting easier. I now find being a full time father better then what I did before. I know I am missing things to put in this post. Oh, she has Austim also.

Thanks, wondertwinmama!

mikeandmichael — Tue, 17 Jun 2008 11:09:45 -0700

I hope your partner finds time to get out with the kids. Also, she needs to find some "me" time even if it is just going to the grocery store, the gym, or a walk around the neighborhood. Likewise, some "couples" time with just the two of you may help. This seemed to help me. Unfortunately, we struggle to find a babysitter, so I understand the difficulties there!

So true!

wondertwinmama — Tue, 17 Jun 2008 10:08:42 -0700

Hi there,
I work full time and my partner stays home. When we decided to have a baby, we too agreed that one of us would stay home for the first year or so. (Basically as long as we could afford to.) Then we found out we were having twins! So, now (the twins just turned 2) my partner has been home since they were born. It's such an amazing gift to have a parent home. I know that many parents have to work and they don't have the luxary of staying home, but if it's possible, I think it's one of the BEST gifts you can give your child(ren). Our twins are very well developed, very stable, they have a routine, they are very secure in who they are and in our love for them. I agree that we as a society don't value the stay at home parent and I think it's hard enough for the stay at home parent to transition (as you mentioned above) into this new role. I know my partner still feels lost at times and disconnected. Because of the twin factor, it's hard for her to do certain things on her own, so they stay home more. She struggles with feeling depressed at times too. But now, they are toddlers and are into projects and art and can do more field trips, etc...I just know I am SO, SO grateful to her for being willing to stay home and parent and raise our children. It's hard enough for me to work and to NOT get a lot of quality time, but knowing she's there with them at home...that helps me focus on my job and be the best "provider" that I can in my role right now. Without her, I wouldn't be able to do it!! She is my rock and she is an amazing mama to our kids!! Way to go for staying home with your son, I know he and your partner are the better for it!!

Yep - I completely agree

juju1030 — Mon, 16 Jun 2008 08:35:48 -0700

Yep - I completely agree with you on the fact that society no longer values stay at home parents in the way they should be valued.

I have a great deal of respect for any stay at home parent, bet especially stay at home Dads. They seem to have to deal with much more garbage from people's ignorance regarding why a father would want to be home raising children.

Being at home is such a rewarding thing for so many parents, and of course the kiddos they are raising! Props to you - being an at home parent is one of the hardest yet most rewarding jobs out there :)

This feeling is not exclusive to men!

mikeandmichael — Sun, 15 Jun 2008 07:25:39 -0700

I'm glad you posted.

Granted this was my story, but I found that clearly I am not alone, and was even more surprised to find that many women felt the same way. The moral for me...our society no longer values the contribution of a stay-at-home parent.

Wow I can relate alot to

juju1030 — Sun, 15 Jun 2008 01:01:11 -0700

Wow I can relate alot to your story of being a stay at home Dad - even though I am a stay at home mom. I am sure I don't get the patronizing comments quite as often, but it definately took me some time to adjust to just being Mom, and not focused on my career. What a great thing that you were able to create the parents group! I have often thought about something like that for myself.

Glad that all is well with you....

Papi to Maria — Sat, 31 May 2008 21:19:31 -0700

Congrats on dating and the finalization.

w00t

dagnarus75 — Wed, 21 May 2008 09:56:17 -0700

haha, did i prompt the update? congrats, sounds like a BIG relief.

exciting

mommyzrus917 — Tue, 20 May 2008 15:08:47 -0700

wow!!! thanks for making me CRY!!! lol, congratulations to you and your family. stories like yours gives me hope that our world really might be changing.
~*Tracy*~

Gay Marriage

Tue, 20 May 2008 08:39:12 -0700

Here in Massachusetts we had a little more time between the decision in November 2003 to the actual gay marriages on May 17th 2004. For gay couples who have been in relationships for years this isn't a problem but for those caught up in the moment counseling is a good place to start to know what the legalities are. Marriage is a basic civil right that should be attainable by all Americans if they choose. For those who have family who are uncomfortable with this check out our short produced to educate & defuse the controversy. It has a way of opening closed minds & provides some sanity on the issue: www.OUTTAKEonline.com

What a gift

RogerNYC — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 19:23:07 -0800

Brian--

Thank you for sharing your stories with me. They were truly a gift.

I am on my journey to becoming a foster-to-adopt single dad this year. I am excited. I am scared. I am not alone.

I could relate to everything that you write. I have not yet found a single dad in NYC to share his stories with me, and I am grateful that Google brought me to your Blog.

I would love a copy of your list of questions you had compiled to ask the foster agencies. However, I am still trying to learn how to send a message. Until then, just this post.

Again, thank you. Do you realize the impact of your posts? You are amazing, so one more time, thank you.