ProudParenting.com - HRC - Comments

Lip Service

Tue, 25 Dec 2007 15:13:04 -0800

Many, including Hillary pay lip service to get the vote, but what active and tangible thing have they personally done to make a real difference?

should be a great race

Momsinthetub — Thu, 06 Dec 2007 01:07:29 -0800

although the mud-slinging has already started on both sides.

Just some humble advice

Radical_Dad — Sun, 14 Oct 2007 07:23:31 -0700

Tyler,

Congratulations on coming out to someone. The first time is probably the most tough - and it comes with the consequences you're experiencing.

Now it's time for self-preservation. Don't tell any more people for awhile. Keep your head down and your chin up. You should get use to looking over your shoulder until you are able to live on your own - away from negative influences.

Keep in mind - millions of happy gay men and women have come from stifling environments, like the one you're in now. You'll eventually leave home and create a life for yourself. A life that makes YOU happy.

Take care of yourself - and you'll do fine!

Good for you Tyler, in

Fri, 12 Oct 2007 11:08:25 -0700

Good for you Tyler, in coming out...It is hard, even as an adult....Alot of people hide for years,they marry and create the expected life, but are not happy...So my praise goes out to you for being who makes you happy, and you are a better man for being honest with yourself and your family....I am 33yrs old and with a woman now after being married for 12yrs and I still get looks, talked about in my own family. It isn't easy, but inside it makes me so much happier, and for my kids too....
Good luck,
Eileen
Plymouth, MA

14 year old gay kid

Thu, 11 Oct 2007 17:22:29 -0700

it was extremely hard time for me last year. if people say coming out is easy well they're liars. the first person i ever told was my dear friend angela. and i think the only reason i told her is b.c before she said that a gay guy thought i was hot. then i came out to the other people i trusted. it was horrible not one of them belived me and they all told me that there was no way i could ever be gay. i was extremely meloncholy. it was just basically depressing. but after i finnally got comfortable with myself and other people started to belive me i decided to tell my mom. i trusted her and thought i owed it to her to tell her since after all she was my mother. but alas i was betrayed she went behind my back and told my father that i was gay!!!!!!
now to understand how devastating that was you have to first understand my dad. hes soooooooo predujice. he says fag all the time and hes roman catholic along with most of the rest of my family.
i was told im physco and need to see some one. and that im to young to say that. and that if i tell everybody (which everybody in my school had already known) ill be marked with a stigma.
so i once again went through a long state of depression.so that is my story started last year in fall to now a year later. while those horrible voices of being unaccepted ring in my ear i must be strong

THE END
-tyler
from johnstown

Shame and fitting in as an adult with LGBT parents.

KristenB — Thu, 09 Aug 2007 09:19:43 -0700

I love the way Abigail explains the difference between shame and safety. I have always been proud of my Moms, but (unfortunately) I didn't (and don't) always feel safe enough to share that with everyone around me. I have to test the waters, to see who is accepting. It's not about shame, it's about knowing the group we are in. I have to make a decision about how "out" I'm going to be. This is NOT a reflection of who my parents are, it's a reflection of how society views them.

One thing that I notice a lot of gay parents are shocked to find out is that...WE COME OUT just like you! It can be just as uncomfortable, scary and unnerving for us as it can be for you. As Abigail mentions, it's good to put words to it for kids, so they can explain it to their peers.

When I was a kid, my family was closeted. I had two TV shows I could point to that were not accurate representations of my family, but at least something that was "accepted" that I could point to. Remember "Kate & Ally" and "My Two Dads?" Nowadays, "gay" is a common term so you don't have to give them something misrepresentative. Give your kids something that makes sense to other kids of their age. So, they have words to describe their family.

Now, as for us having a place in society. I have always felt like straight and gay never really fit me. I'm 100% sexually straight, but I so identify as part of the gay community. I mean, I did grow up with a community of lesbians around me, which was very cool. There is a sense among adults with LGBT parents that we do not fit in society. Look at all the gay websites about gay parenting...most do not include adults with LGBT parents. Even the big organizations that provide connection for kids of LGBT parents, don't include many (if any) activities for adults. I've met a few people who feel like they don't fit in anywhere. It's not about fitting in, it's about finding a place where they are accepted as a human being. Sometimes, I think that space is missing in the LGBT community.

Create a great day!

Kristen Beireis
http://rainbowinme.amazingsteps.com