ProudParenting.com - how-to - Comments

Boy, I can relate!

wondertwinmama — Tue, 27 May 2008 14:35:34 -0700

I was just feeling an overwhelming sense of loss recently about just this issue. I was cruising down Ocean Blvd. watching all of the 20 somethings, with their faux-hawks, rocker t's, & hot girlfriends in hand, as they paraded down to the LB Pride Festival. Here I was cruising in my Caddie SRX (you know, the cross over, it's not really a mini-van or a "grocery getter" (what we kindly call those big ole station wagons from the 70's) and it's not quite an SUV. So, as I watch all of the proud gay and lesbian folk strut their stuff, I think "That used to be us." We used to be hot, we used to be there...wherever the scene was, whatever was going on, we would show up late, make an appearance and bring down the house. As I rolled my window down to at least feel the cool ocean breeze, I realize as a few couples stare my way that the "wheels on the bus" song is a bit loud and because of the tinted windows, they can't tell that I have twin toddlers in the back saying "again, again, again." And even worse, with my hair pulled back in a headband, sitting here singing along waiting for the light to turn green, I even look straight. Now, they think I am the enemy...they don't know I'm a really cool lesbian mommy who can't bring my kids to pride because it's nap time and I have to get home so they will "transfer" from the car without waking up causing the entire day to get off schedule! AGGHH, I used to be so cool...and although I am very acclimated into the straight world, and we even go to a play group once a month with other lesbian mommies and babies/toddlers, I still feel disconnected and alienated. I think I feel most disconnected from my former self. I feel so boring at times and to tell you the truth, I miss her! I liked her and she's someone I want my kids to know...How do you reconcile the two?

Since we became parents

Gaydad — Wed, 07 May 2008 11:58:15 -0700

I used to hang out with the same set of friends, we would play tennis, go have lunch and meet occassionally for dinner. I have not hung out with them for 3 1/2 months. (My adopted son is 4 months and we took him home at two days old). Do do the math.
It is unfortunate but it's true. Just like straight couples that have babies, they end up not hanging out with other couples that do not have children. Just like straigt couples that get married...they tend to hang out with other married couples. Just like gay couples, they tend to hang out with other gay couples.

I don't think it's a gay/straight issue here. I think it's a human issue.

http://mytwodaddies.blogspot.com

Montessori :-)

Jeff — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 12:44:07 -0700

Your comment about the "local Montessori preschool" made me smile. We were those "two quiet men at the Sunday beer bust". Now we are overjoyed that our 3 y.o. was accepted into Broward County's hot Montessori grade school.

We tried the Montessori

Mon, 14 Apr 2008 07:38:24 -0700

We tried the Montessori school with our daughter, during her preschool years (she went for two years). We have her in the public school kindergarten system now. We are in California, which probably makes a difference.

The Montessori system was great in terms of education, can't be matched. And the school system has a strict tolerance policy towards diversity of all types that we loved.

Our problem turned out to be the parents. They aren't bound by any policy of tolerance and didn't seem to be able to instill in themselves, the values they try to instill in their own toddlers. They weren't outright confrontational, but avoiding and always too busy and distant.

The other same-sex parents in the system had kids much older, so we couldn't really bond in any meaningful way. And other kids would get together for playdates, and when I would try to arrange something for my daughter, suddenly they were all too busy. And she didn't get to go to birthday parties, etc. All prejudices OUTSIDE the school, but social development is just as important as the education.

So we put her in the public school system, and the kids and the parents seem much more 'real'. She's in kindergarten, has had playdates, friends over to our house and gets to go to birthday parties. This to me, is something so valuable, no money can buy.

http://adamantsun.blogspot.com

The Dark Ages are over?

Ty_N_Al — Sun, 13 Apr 2008 11:19:09 -0700

Are we in the Age of Enlightenment?

I can't wait for that blog entry.

I have heard so many crazy conversations surrounding same-sex parenting here in Georgia. Maybe Georgia is still trapped in the Dark Ages.

"I have come to believe over and over again that what is most important to me must be spoken, made verbal and shared, even at the risk of having it bruised or misunderstood. That the speaking profits me, beyond any other effect." - Audre Lorde