Proud Parenting

LGBTQ Parents - Lesbian Moms & Gay Dads

UK woman conceives abroad with her dead husband’s sperm

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The press has reported the case of a UK woman who has won permission from the HFEA to have her deceased husband’s sperm exported abroad for IVF treatment after his death. You can read more about the story here.
How does UK law work on post-death use of sperm?

The rules in the UK are clear – there must be written (and signed) consent from the sperm provider allowing the post death use of his sperm in treatment. In this case, the man’s sperm was extracted surgically after he was already in a coma he never recovered from. His wife therefore did not have the written signed consent she needed for treatment to take place in the UK, although she maintained that IVF was always their plan and that Mr H would have wanted her to have a child in these circumstances.

How did Mrs H get permission to use Mr H’s sperm?

In the absence of being able to conceive through IVF in the UK, another option was to export the sperm to another destination where the consent rules were not so stringent. There is tight regulation of the circumstances in which sperm can be exported, and Mrs H therefore had to seek a ‘special direction’ from the HFEA giving her permission to do it. She was given that permission and this enabled her to export her husband’s sperm and undergo fertility treatment abroad. She is currently awaiting pregnancy test results.

Why is this a ‘ground-breaking’ case and did Mrs H break the law?

This case marks the first occasion that the HFEA, under such circumstances, has awarded a ‘special direction’ without the intervention of the court. Having followed in the footsteps of the well know case of Diane Blood (who successfully won the right, through the Court of Appeal, to export her deceased husband’s sperm abroad – leading to the birth of two children), the HFEA undoubtedly considered the principles of that case and what it said about the need to consider the human rights of all those involved. The decision over whether to give a special direction is discretionary and something for the HFEA to assess individually in each particular case. Previous cases do not create a formal precedent, but they are influential.

Mrs H therefore did not break the law, having sought permission as the law required her to do, and having been given it. We congratulate her resolve and wish her the very best in conceiving.

There is more information about the law on the storage and use of gametes here.

Article: 21st August 2013 www.nataliegambleassociates.co.uk

Read more about fertility law at www.prideangel.com

Coming out of the infertility closet

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Although one-in-six U.S. couples face problems conceiving, many still feel funny telling others that they are undergoing treatment. In fact, infertility is one of the last great cultural taboos. One survey of infertile couples conducted by the pharmaceutical companies Schering-Plough and Merck found that 61% hid their infertility from family and friends, and half didn’t share it with their mothers. Why the secrecy? The study also found that seven-in-10 women admitted that being infertile made them feel “flawed,” and half of men reported feeling “inadequate.”
It’s no wonder then that talk show host Jimmy Fallon waited two weeks after the birth of his daughter Winnie Rose to reveal that she was carried by a surrogate. “My wife and I had been trying for a while to have a baby,” Fallon told Today’s Savannah Guthrie Friday morning. “We tried a bunch of things. So we had a surrogate.”

Fallon’s openness came as a surprise, considering that most celebrities have been notoriously mum on the subject. Who can blame them? Remember all the rampant speculating about whether Kate Middleton had infertility problems? And—gasp!—was Baby George conceived via IVF?

We should applaud Fallon—along with his wife and other high-profile women willing to share their stories—for going public with facts so many would prefer to keep hidden.

Article: 11th August 2013 www.ideas.time.com Read more…

‘Sperm donor the only option for me’ says Big Brother contestant

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Aisleyne said: ““Sperm donation seems the only logical option. I don’t need a man financially. I can do it myself. I’m 34, my biological clock is ticking and I haven’t got forever.” The party girl says she’s had to rethink her priorities since the death of her mother and uncle from cancer last year.
She was left devastated when mum Sophia, 54, passed away in February, then three months later in May her uncle Dennis lost his battle with the disease aged 52. Speaking to Now magazine, she said: “I was too busy having fun. I thought I was invincible and had forever. It made me realise how fragile life could be and that I wanted to become a mother.

“I want that responsibility of looking after someone completely helpless, to bring them up to be decent and give them the best life I possibly can. I want to live for someone other than just myself.” Since making the Big Brother final in 2006, Aisleyne has kept her love life largely out of the public eye.

She briefly dated Mike Tyson in 2009, but despite a rumoured proposal from the former boxer, has yet to find someone to settle down with. She said: “I do think a child needs a dad and that’s a big drawback to doing it on my own. But there are so many single parents or children with a bad father – in this day and age the nuclear family hardly exists.

“If I do meet Mr Right he’s going to have to accept me with this child. And anyway, having no stability is more detrimental to a child than having no father at all.”

Article: 16th July 2013 www.thesun.co.uk

Dating website for people who want to become a parent

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In the past, having children was the priority for men and women in their twenties. But what about today? The average age and attitudes have evolved when it comes to having children. But the topic is still as important as ever.
Sometimes when we’re in our twenties, life brings us other priorities than having children. Then time goes by, and we suddenly realise that something’s missing in our life. This something is a child. Having a child in a beautiful relationship, from a shared desire to create life.
Today, there are websites dedicated to people who want to meet a partner for having a baby and want to do so quickly. The idea of having a child has grown in their minds, and they know that they’ll find the right person for sharing a child and their daily life with, with as much love as it is possible to give.
Maybe, after due thought, you also have decided to find the right person for sharing the education and the daily life of your future child. Except that, in today’s world, it can be difficult to meet that person. That’s why you mustn’t hesitate to seize any chance that might help you have your child, if that’s what you really want.
http://www.coparents.co.uk

Women who work shifts have lower fertility and increased risk of miscarriage

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Women who work shifts are more likely to have reduced fertility levels, new research has revealed. Shift work also increases the chance of menstrual disruption, while night work increases the risk of miscarriage, the study found.
The annual meeting of the European Society of Human Reproduction and Embryology in London heard that previous research has linked shift work, which causes sleep deprivation and disruption to the body clock, with ill health.

But little was known about the effects of shift work on reproductive health and fertility. Dr Linden Stocker headed a study by the University of Southampton which found links between shift patterns and fertility problems. The study is a meta-analysis of all studies on the subject published between 1969 and January 2013 and included data on 119,345 women.

– Women who work shifts are 80% more likely to have fertility problems such as miscarriage
– Women who work shifts have a 33% higher chance of disrupted periods
– Women who work nights are 29 per cent more likely to have a miscarriage
– Shift work can cause sleep deprivation and disruption to the body clock, both of which are associated with ill health

Women who work shifts are more likely to have reduced fertility levels. Shift work also increases the chance of menstrual disruption, while night work increases the risk of miscarriage But little was known about the effects of shift work on reproductive health and fertility. Dr Linden Stocker headed a study by the University of Southampton which found links between shift patterns and fertility problems.

The study is a meta-analysis of all studies on the subject published between 1969 and January 2013 and included data on 119,345 women. It found that those working shifts had a 33 per cent higher rate of menstrual disruption than those working regular hours, and an 80 per cent increased rate of reduced fertility.

Women who worked only nights did not have an increased risk of menstrual disruption or difficulty conceiving, but they did have a 29 per cent increased rate of miscarriage. The investigators describe their findings as ‘novel’, but in keeping with other studies.

Shift work causes sleep deprivation and disruption to the body clock both of which are associated with ill health Dr Stocker said: ‘If replicated, our findings have implications for women attempting to become pregnant, as well as for their employers.’ She added: ‘Whilst we have demonstrated an association between shift work and negative early reproductive outcomes, we have not proven causation.

‘In humans, the long-term effects of altering circadian rhythms are inherently difficult to study. As a proxy measure, the sleep disruption demonstrated by the shift workers in our study creates short- and long-term biological disturbances. ‘Shift workers adopt poor sleep hygiene, suffer sleep deprivation and develop activity levels that are out-of-sync with their body clock. ‘However, if our results are confirmed by other studies, there may be implications for shift workers and their reproductive plans. ‘More friendly shift patterns, with less impact on circadian rhythm, could be adopted where practical – although the optimal shift pattern required to maximise reproductive potential is yet to be established.’

She said that the underlying biological disturbances involved in reproductive difficulties ‘are complex and not the same across all the disease processes’. ‘Indeed,’ she said, ‘it is probable that completely different causes underlie menstrual dysfunction, miscarriage and subfertility. ‘This may explain why the effects of different types of shift work are seen in some groups of women, but not others.’

Article: 9th July 2013 www.dailymail.co.uk

Anonymous donor conceived want the right to know their biological parents

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It is undeniable that we humans have an innate desire to know from whom we came. Many people who are adopted or have only one parent will tell you that they feel they are missing a piece of a puzzle.
Genealogy websites like Ancestry.com exist because of our fascination with our genetic ancestors. Every time I see an ad for Ancestry.com, a place where you “Find your ancestors’ stories” and “Discover yours,” I feel that tug to find out more about my grandparents and great-grandparents. My daughter’s junior year project for high school was a presentation and paper on the immigration of both sides of her family to America.

Now imagine if you were purposely denied one half of your story by a powerful industry that runs on anonymity. And what if when you pointed out the intentional injustice, you were told that you should shut-up and simply be grateful for your life.

This is the experience for many a child conceived from anonymous donor gametes. The following is a excerpt from testimony that Alana S. Newman, founder of AnonymousUs.org, gave to the California Assembly Committee on Health regarding AB460, a bill in the California legislature that would require insurers to offer coverage for infertility treatments regardless of the relationship.

Alana is bravely standing up for the rights of those intentionally denied what she believes is a fundamental right: the right to a relationship with one’s biological parents. She writes:

The facts of my conception are that my father was paid to abandon me. There is no dignity in that. I suffered from debilitating identity issues, mistrust of the opposite sex, hatred and condemnation of the opposite sex, feelings of objectification – like I only exist as a play – toy for others, and feeling like a science experiment.

If people can take away something so precious as a mother or father and make us feel like we should be grateful for the loss, what else can people take away from us? How do you expect the next generation to fight for things like freedom, democracy, clean air, clean water, when something as precious and basic as your mother or father is stolen from you? Removed by the state… Removed by a fertility industry that forces you into existence and then doesn’t return your calls when you grow up and start banging on their doors asking for records… Removed by a commissioning parent, often your other biological parent who vowed to protect and provide for you, but only on the contingency that you show gratitude for your life and don’t ask questions about the other missing parent….

One of the United State’s most famous civil rights leaders was Malcolm X. The “X” he used to replace his last name was a direct criticism of slave – owners removing slaves from their spouses, parents and children, and being disconnected from their ancestry and heritage. “Who do you think you are” is a popular TV show where celebrities have their genealogy investigated. Rosie O’Donnell herself expressed a craving to “discover her family as fully fleshed out people and learn about their journeys”. The sheer existence of a term and concept like genealogy demonstrates that it is unfair to minimize and marginalize donor – conceived people’s curiosities about our genetic kin, and dismiss our desire for connection…..

Having a bloated industry where medical and legal professionals profit from separating children from their biological parents is problematic.

Very few people like to hear that their choices have devastating consequences for others. If there is a place where voices like Alana’s need to be heard, it is the fertility machine. Both infertile couples and the fertility industry must hear what she is saying. The desire for a child does not trump the right of a child to know his or her biological parents.

Article: 14th June 2013 www.lifenews.com

Read more about known sperm donation at www.prideangel.com

Sperm donation in the US – not a DIY project!

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Several months ago I consulted with a woman and her same-sex partner. I’ll refer to them as “Sue” and “Sally.” They had a 3-year-old son who was conceived using sperm donated directly to the couple by a close friend named “Stan.” Donation and conception took place under friendly circumstances at the women’s home. Stan did his part in the privacy of their bathroom, and they promptly used his sperm to create a baby. Voilà, the conception of “Baby X” was confirmed in a matter of weeks.
I asked Sue and Sally why they never hired lawyers, and why they asked Stan to donate his sperm in their home. The answer was the same I hear every time I ask this question: They had wanted to keep the relationship and the process “natural” and “informal” so as not to scare Stan.

Fast-forwarding three years to the reason Sue and Sally were in my office, it turns out they were not enjoying the friendship they once had with Stan. Instead, they were exchanging heated emails and text messages with him. Stan had fallen in love with Baby X, and Sue and Sally had become uncomfortable with Stan’s expectations regarding his role and time spent with the child. Stan had mentioned possible legal action to obtain parental rights.

Sue and Sally wanted to know if Stan could file for legal rights and, heaven forbid, obtain a formal custody order. Sue was angry with Sally for refusing to hire an attorney or use a physician for the sperm donation in the first place. Sally’s mind was blown that Stan could potentially have legal rights to her child. The thought had never crossed her mind. We had a mess on our hands.

Our nation presents a very complicated state-by-state legal quilt on donor insemination. But one thing is consistent throughout the country: No matter where you live, the informal, friendly, at-home donation method is a bad idea. The casual use of a friend’s sperm almost always leads to unwanted legal consequences.

New parents often tell me they want to avoid formality because it feels wrong — somehow it defeats the entire purpose of becoming parents. Why hire physicians and attorneys for something that should be natural and organic? The answer is simple: Becoming a parent is one of the most important things you will do in this lifetime, and it needs to be done right.

Choosing to use a friend as your sperm donor is a big decision. Do not shy away from formality and transparency! You likely chose your donor for more than his pretty face — you probably share a deep emotional connection with him. This makes transparency and formality that much more important. A contract ensures that you, your partner, and your sperm donor have a complete meeting of the minds regarding expectations, roles, legal rights, etc. The same holds true for involving a physician; it not only ensures medical safety but protects your donor legally.

If you are using a known donor whom you do not want to have parental rights, the safe approach is to formalize — anything less is asking for trouble. This is a two-step process: First, hire an attorney to explain the process and draft the necessary contracts for you. Second, have the donor provide his sperm through a licensed physician. The clarity and transparency that comes with the formal approach is not only shrewd planning; it’s respectful to the donor.

Article: 10th June 2013 www.huffingtonpost.com

Read more about known sperm donation and home insemination at www.prideangel.com

Improve your chance of having a baby by avoiding selfish men

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The new “Get Britain Fertile” campaign features a photograph of presenter Kate Garraway, made up to look elderly and pregnant. Her wrinkles and white hair juxtaposed with a fecund belly illustrate the main thrust of the campaign – to make British women aware of the decline in fertility by their 30s and 40s.
However, is there a grown woman left in Britain who’s not already aware of this? Moreover, when are we, as a society, going to address a painful truth: that where timing is concerned, female fertility is not, as is often supposed, controlled exclusively by women, but also very much in the power of the men they are with?

There’s much that’s well intentioned about GBF. It claims to be aimed at both men and women. Garraway, an ambassador for the campaign, says she feels fortunate to have had children relatively late, and wants women to make “informed choices”. However, GBF taps into the culture of misogyny surrounding female fertility. It feeds the urban myth of women “refusing” to have children because of careers, partying, or holding out for Leonardo DiCaprio.

These delusional “picky” females have been figments of the collective imagination for so long they need to be dusted down. Indeed, GBF is accompanied by a survey, stating that many women aged 18-46 are concerned about practicalities: ranging from loss of earnings and workplace inflexibility, to childcare costs and housing. All crucial issues, but for the purpose of this article, let’s look at the third of women who say they want children but haven’t yet found the right partner.

In my opinion that one-third is an underestimate. Even not finding the right man often turns out to be a euphemism for: “I met him, I spent years with him, but ultimately, he wouldn’t have children.” Put bluntly, many of these women at their fertile peak didn’t refuse anything, their men did.

Like it or not, this is how men influence female fertility and, ultimately, female infertility. The mere thought is enough to inspire feminist panic: women, not men, should control their fertility. Who could disagree? It’s also true that some women don’t want children, period. And yet how many of us have met (or even been) the thirty-fortysomething, forced to abandon a long relationship because the man wouldn’t start a family?

Such men may feel that the relationship isn’t right, or don’t want their freedom curtailed, or other reasons, all as valid as a woman making similar decisions. It only becomes unfair, verging on selfish, when men keep such insights to themselves for too long. These are the time-wasters, what I’d term the fertility-drifters, who think nothing of keeping women dangling for years on end.

It’s not that these women are pathetic wimps, rather that often they can’t win: if they push, they’re pushy (humiliating); if they don’t push, if they’re respectful and patient, they’ll waste even more time. Frequently, these men go on to start families with younger women, leaving their original partners scouring dating sites, lampooned as desperadoes on the hunt for viable sperm.

Some might say: “Diddums, that’s life.” Fine, so long as we acknowledge that this is something many women put up with during their fertile years, and that to castigate them is unfair. Sometimes it’s not women who are picky, it’s men. Ergo, such men should at least be part of the ongoing debate about late female procreation. After all, a stalled relationship at the wrong time with an immature, untruthful, or simply unwilling, man, is enough to compromise or even destroy a woman’s fertility. If the GBF campaign really is aimed at both sexes, perhaps they need to include a photograph of a man with the caption: “Play fair and, by the way, sperm deteriorates too.” Meanwhile, women may need another mantra – don’t let anyone waste your precious time.

Read more…

Article: 19th May 2013 www.guardian.co.uk

Not found the right man to have a baby with? Find your ideal co-parent or sperm donor at www.prideangel.com

Most exciting new breakthrough in IVF treatment for 30 years

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Thousands of infertile couples could benefit from a new IVF procedure that can dramatically improve the success rate of having a baby through artificial reproduction.
Scientists believe they can double or even triple the proportion of healthy babies born as a result fertility treatment with a relatively simple technique that takes a series of time-lapse photographs of the developing IVF embryos.

On average only about 24 per cent of IVF embryos implanted into women in the UK lead to live births but the researchers believe this could be increased to 78 per cent using the new technique for selecting the best embryos.

I believe it is the most exciting breakthrough we’ve had in probably 30 years,” said Professor Simon Fishel, managing director of the CARE Fertility Group, where the technique was developed.

“Every IVF practice in the world is unintentionally and unwittingly putting back into the womb unviable embryos that don’t make babies,” Professor Fishel said. “We hope to see a paradigm shift in terms of IVF. It’s a game changer for everybody to have such an uplift in live birth rates. This is the beginning of something revelatory,” he said

Each year, licensed clinics in Britain carry out about 60,000 IVF treatments but most of them end in failure, causing immense emotional upset to couples, many of whom have paid between £5,000 and £10,000 for each treatment cycle.

The new procedure, which costs £750, identifies the best embryos to be implanted into the womb based on the time it has taken to develop between two key stages in the early life-cycle of the embryo.

Thousands of time-lapse pictures are taken during the first few days of an IVF embryo’s life and these are used to identify the time between the first appearance of the fluid-filled cavity, called the blastula, and the final moment before the embryo “hatches” from its protective shell.

Scientists have discovered that when this period lasts longer than about six hours, the IVF embryo is likely to be carrying an abnormal number of chromosomes, called aneuploidy, which will lead to a failure of the pregnancy.

A preliminary study, published in the journal Reproductive Medicine Online and based on a retrospective analysis of 88 IVF embryos of 69 couples, found that the time-lapse technique could have improved the success rate of life births in this particular group of patients from 39 per cent to 61 per cent.

Even better success rates can be expected once the procedure is refined and applied to the wider population of infertile couples seeking IVF treatment, Professor Fishel said.

“Our work has shown that we can easily classify embryos into low or high risk of being chromosomally abnormal. This is important because in itself this is the largest single cause of IVF failure and miscarriage,” he said. “The beauty of this technology is that the information is provided by a non-invasive process. So far we have seen a 56 per cent uplift compared to conventional technology, giving our patients the equivalent to a 78 per cent live-birth rate,” he added.

Normally, IVF embryos in an incubator are checked manually each day by embryologists but the time-lapse cameras are able to do this automatically by taking pictures every 10 minutes without interfering with embryo development, said Alison Campbell, embryology director at Care Fertility in Nottingham, who developed the computer algorithm controlling the analysis.

“With time-lapse we have the ability to view more than 5,000 images over the same time period to observe and measure more closely each stage of division and growth. As a result of continuous monitoring we have demonstrated that delays at defined points indicate abnormal development,” Ms Campbell said.

Martin Johnson, a fertility expert and editor of the journal where the work is published, said further “prospective” studies comparing the technique to existing methods of embryo selection are still needed before the procedure is recommended as standard treatment. “There are caveats with this research….and for these reasons we have to be cautious,” he said.

Sue Avery, director of Birmingham Women’s Fertility Centre, said: “Unfortunately the study does not compare this exciting new approach with standard practise in embryology in which embryologists already look for the best embryos to place in the womb. Until the new technique is compared to current practise we cannot know whether different embryos are being chosen.”

Egg timing: Key stages

The developing embryo (image one, above) goes through two key stages when the fluid-filled cavity or “blastula” first forms (image two) and when the blastula is fully formed before the embryo “hatches” (image three).

The time between the two is used to judge whether the embryo is viable, with no defects in chromosome numbers. If the period is longer than six hours, the embryo is at high risk of abnormal chromosomes, which will inevitably lead to complications. Time-lapse photographs can indicate which embryos have a shorter time-period between these two points, and so which embryos are best for implantation into the womb.

Article: 17th May 2013 www.independent.co.uk

Liverpool’s fertility clinic is having to buy sperm from Manchester

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Liverpool’s fertility clinic is having to buy in sperm from Manchester because its stocks are so low.
Professor Charles Kingsland, head of the Hewitt Fertility Centre based at Liverpool Women’s Hospital, said that a change in the law had led to a drastic decline in donors.

Prof Kingsland said: “It’s not just our stocks that are low, it is all stocks because the law concerning donors changed some years ago. Now donors only get reasonable expenses as opposed to getting paid and they can no longer remain anonymous.”

The drop in donors began in 2005 when people donating sperm and eggs no longer had the right to remain anonymous or be entitled to payment. Now couples face a wait of over a year before a donor becomes available.

The clinic has been buying sperm from other sources including Manchester Fertility Services and a private clinic in Harley Street, London. Couples have also had to buy sperm themselves on the internet from reputable clinics in the US and Denmark.

Now the clinic is opening a second site in Knutsford, Cheshire, and has launched a campaign to encourage more men to help infertile couples.

Prof Kingsland said: “We have the technology. We are offering success rates that even ten years ago were unheard of. Now we need to replenish our sperm bank.”

“With this campaign we just want to raise awareness. And the enormous benefit for the donor is that they really are helping couples get that longed-for family.”

Read more about known sperm donation at www.prideangel.com

Article: 7th May 2013 Pride Angel