Women are better parents. Women are better at nurturing children than men. Men are incapable of being good parents. From the perspective of a father, a dad, a daddy, these stereotypes are alive and not so well.
It is time to give dads a shout out! If you read my personal blog post, “My life as a stay-at-home dad” (http://mikeandmichael.info/blog/2008/11/26/my-life-as-a-stay-at-home-dad/), you would understand the inspiration for this blog.
On Saturday, my husband, the kids and I were at our favorite restaurant having breakfast with another couple. The couple, who happens to be comprised of two men, has 20-month-old twins. During the course of our meal, no less than three women from different parties walked by, smiled, and made comments like, “oh, giving mom a break”. I was not appalled that these women assumed I/we was/were straight – I found this funny; I was disappointed that in 2009, people, particularly women in my case, assume that men are not actively involved parents.
Funnily enough, I NEVER hear women comment to other women about “giving dad a break”. We are fortunate in that one of us can stay at home to raise our children. I choose to stay at home. On the flip side, one of my best friends is a physician. She works full-time. She often gets comments that imply she is a bad mom since she is not at home with her children.
Normally this type of banter would not bother me. However, I have two sons. My sons have no mother – okay before you drive a stake through my heart, they have a biological mom by birth. Neither is parenting in the mom sense. We are their parents; we are their dads. So if I sound a bit sensitive about the “where is mom?” question, I am entitled to be.
Let us get rid of these stereotypes. Men need to unite, step up and speak out!
Note: you will also find this blog posted on Adoption Under One Roof (www.ouradopt.com) where I occasionally write about topics such as this one.