Kim Bergman, PhD, is a licensed psychologist who specializes in the area of gay and lesbian parenting, parenting by choice and third party assisted reproduction. Dr. Bergman has created a comprehensive psychological screening, support and monitoring process for Intended Parents, Surrogates and Donors.
She writes, teaches and speaks extensively on parenting by choice – and now Dr. Bergman’s most recent book, Your Future Family: The Essential Guide to Assisted Reproduction (Conari Press 2019) is available for pre-sale.
We’ve included an excerpt from ‘Your Future Family’ below and we encourage all prospective parents to check out the entire book!
Are You Ready?
If you’ve been thinking about becoming a parent, reading this book could flip a switch that pushes you forward toward your goal. I’ll warn you now: once that switch is flipped, there’s no going back. When Natalie and I had our first conversation about possibly starting the process of donor insemination and becoming parents, the switch flipped and we were in. Period. End of discussion. From that moment on, nothing was going to stop us. When our first insemination attempt didn’t take, we tried again. And when that didn’t work, we tried again. And then we switched donors, thinking maybe different sperm would help. And when that didn’t work, we tried again. And again. And then we switched donors again. We kept at it until finally, at last, I got pregnant with Abby. But never did we doubt that I would get pregnant and that we would be parents. We had decided that no matter what, we were going to be parents. I see this same “flipping of the switch” all the time. A person or a couple will come to me for an initial consultation and say, “We’re just looking into this, we’re not ready right now, but maybe in a year or two we will be. At the moment, w’re just gathering information.” Then I’ll get a call a week later because the switch flipped all systems are go. The urgency kicks in full force, as something that previously felt unattainable now feels within reach. The possibility of parenthood becomes a reality.
Dr. Bergman created her own family using third party assisted reproduction and she lives with her wife of 35 years. Her two daughters are in college.
Dr. Kim Bergman is a member of the American Society for Reproductive Medicine, the American Psychological Association, the Los Angeles County Psychological Association, the Lesbian and Gay Psychotherapy Association, and the Gay and Lesbian Medical Association. She is on the national Emeritus board of the Family Equality Council.