I wanted to address/respond to this quote by Laura Witjens (An ‘egg donor’ and Chair of the National Donation Gamete Trust in the UK)in this article:
“Finding Your Biological Family” http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2009/sep/26/finding-biological-family-donor-register
Laura Witjens: “I would try to help them find any missing links, but I would resist letting them call me mother because I am not. I am absolutely clear to my own children that I have only one daughter and one son, and that although there may be people out there who have a bit of mummy in them genetically, they are not my children.”
Although I’m very grateful, on one hand, that Laura Witjens (An ‘egg donor’ and Chair of the National Donation Gamete Trust in the UK) promotes ‘open donors’, I think this really demeans the importance and responsibility of biological/genetic parents NO MATTER HOW A CHILD IS CONCEIVED. The intentionality of ‘they are not my children’ is not respectful or deserving of respect.
This really sums up why I am very much against the practice of ‘donor’ conception as a whole. She IS their mother. Her ‘non-choice’ children are just as much her children as her ‘choice’ children. Yes, her ‘non-choice’ children have other loved ones but that does not absolve her from responsibility – ESPECIALLY emotional responsibility. This really cuts to the heart of the problem with the disconnects that even ‘open donors’ create.