Where did these kids come from?

National advice writer, Steven Petrow, tackles a situation that many of us face on a regular basis. He answers this anonymous query on The Huffington Post: “If one more person asks me in front of my children where they come from or whose they are or where did we adopt them from, I’m going to explode. What’s the best way to deal with these very annoying questions?

Steven writes: Whose children are they? “They are ours.” You are the child’s parent [or one of them]. Where did they come from? “They come from the same place all children come from.” And then smile. If you still find yourself pressed, feel free to invoke your zone of privacy and say simply, “That’s really a family matter, but thank you for caring.”

In the case of adoption, it’s also important to use the right language. Your son [or daughter] was born to his [or her] “birth mother” or “biological parents” – not “natural” or “real” parents. Even if, in fact, you did adopt the child, you should say plainly, “I’m his parent by adoption” rather than “adoptive parent,” which sounds like a qualified or second-rate kind of mom or dad. Finally, remember not to share too much information about your little one. Alas, not everyone [straight or gay] is as interested in your kid as you are.

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