Dr. Kim Bergman, founder of Fertility Counseling Services, Inc., writes about setting a healthy foundation for your family. She stresses that the story we tell our children is going to be their truth regardless of outside messages they might hear.
Kim writes about shaping our world in a ProudParenting.com blog post, “What you have to know at the outset is that your baby is going to be born to you not knowing anything about the world. Your baby won’t arrive with any opinions about how things are supposed to be. They arrive ready to be guided by you as to what’s right and what wrong. They don’t show up questioning what’s missing.
“Gay parenting, and surrogacy is not about something missing. It’s not about something’s wrong. It’s not about saying, ‘We couldn’t do something this way so we had to do it this other way.’ It’s not about loss as perhaps adoption can be. There’s no loss. No one has given anything up. It’s about creation.
“As far as your child knows, you and your family are complete. Everything that your baby gets about your family, is going to come from you. Eventually the world around you seeps in, but mostly, it’s up to you to help them make sense of their lives.
“For this reason, I believe it is profoundly important that you get comfortable with who you are when you have kids. Your level of comfort or unease translates to your child. You set the level.”