Way Out Parenting: 4 simple rules for enjoying a successful “date night” without the kids

Every parent experiences the mind-numbing exhaustion of raising children. It may be, however, that gay male parents succumb to the exhaustion more dramatically and often than straight or lesbians parents. Some researchers have theorized that over millennia of procreation, humans developed a Parenting Stamina Gene (PSG) that becomes activated in both men and women by the tidal wave of hormones released at puberty. These researchers speculate that in gay men the PSG fails to activate.

Instead the Clubbing Stamina Gene (CSG) answers the hormonal wake-up call. It is the genome’s way of telling you, “You’re not made for child’s play. Go and dance the night away.” In a cruel twist of fate, however, the CSG shuts off permanently sometime between the ages of thirty-three and forty anyway, leaving gay men with neither the stamina to dance all night or do a two a.m. bottlefeeding.

Upon hearing this scientific information, you may be tempted to use your disability as a crutch and stop even trying to be an energetic partner on date night. Don’t succumb to the temptation. Plenty of people with disabilities lead productive and fulfilling lives. You may not have the genes of an elite parenting athlete who can coach Saturday-morning youth soccer, chase children around the playground all afternoon, and still hold scintillating adult conversations with their partners until two in the morning (and top it off with amazing sex), but if you are a determined over-achiever you can still keep your eyes open and your relationship alive on date night.

Follow these simple rules:

1.Read the newspaper on the day of your date so you have something other than your exhaustion to talk about.

2.Limit yourself to one glass of wine. Overdrinking adds to your fatigue.

3.Don’t see a movie after dinner if you violated rule number two. You will fall asleep and unless your partner also violated the same rule, he’ll be listening to you snore for two hours.

4.Have sex whether you think you want it or not. You will both be glad you did.

© 2008 by Carrie Smith. All rights reserved.

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