Welcome to Way Out Parenting: How to Be a Gay Parent in the Mostly Straight World

Dear Reader,

Welcome to the exciting world of Gay Parenting! To those of you still in the planning stages, good luck as you select your donor sperm, choose an adoption agency, or meet your future surrogate. To those of you who’ve already brought home your bundle of joy, congratulations!

Your life will never be the same. Not long ago, you and your partner were “those two quiet men on the seventh floor” or “the lesbians at the end of the block.” Now, you’re pushing a stroller and infiltrating the playground, the pediatrician’s office, and the local Montessori preschool.

You are like an illegal immigrant who has crossed a forbidden border into a foreign land. Nothing in your adult life has prepared you for the nuances of this Brave New World. Here, in these last strongholds of Straight America, you’re a newcomer and you need to be on your guard. You don’t know the language and the secret customs. While some kind, considerate souls will welcome you, others will look upon you as an interloper coming to claim privileges that are rightfully theirs alone.

Don’t despair. Never doubt your conviction. Years in the Gay Outback have toughened you. You have the inner strength to become an outstanding gay parent in the face of all the challenges the straight world can throw at you.

True, you have a lot to learn. And yes, you will make mistakes and have questions. And so I offer you this little blog—from one gay parent to another. Visit it often. Let it be a source of strength and comfort as you find your way.

A Way Out Parent

PS: Take a look back at the Dark Ages of Gay Parenting in my second blog entry.

3 thoughts on “Welcome to Way Out Parenting: How to Be a Gay Parent in the Mostly Straight World

  • April 14, 2008 at 2:38 pm

    We tried the Montessori school with our daughter, during her preschool years (she went for two years). We have her in the public school kindergarten system now. We are in California, which probably makes a difference.

    The Montessori system was great in terms of education, can’t be matched. And the school system has a strict tolerance policy towards diversity of all types that we loved.

    Our problem turned out to be the parents. They aren’t bound by any policy of tolerance and didn’t seem to be able to instill in themselves, the values they try to instill in their own toddlers. They weren’t outright confrontational, but avoiding and always too busy and distant.

    The other same-sex parents in the system had kids much older, so we couldn’t really bond in any meaningful way. And other kids would get together for playdates, and when I would try to arrange something for my daughter, suddenly they were all too busy. And she didn’t get to go to birthday parties, etc. All prejudices OUTSIDE the school, but social development is just as important as the education.

    So we put her in the public school system, and the kids and the parents seem much more ‘real’. She’s in kindergarten, has had playdates, friends over to our house and gets to go to birthday parties. This to me, is something so valuable, no money can buy.


  • April 24, 2008 at 7:44 pm

    Your comment about the “local Montessori preschool” made me smile. We were those “two quiet men at the Sunday beer bust”. Now we are overjoyed that our 3 y.o. was accepted into Broward County’s hot Montessori grade school.

  • September 7, 2009 at 4:35 pm

    good job to all u gay fathers who open their hearts and lives…i am agy father of a 21 year old son….raised him alone after his mommy passed at his age of 3…..now i raise one of my grandsons and help out with other 2…they are great..they keep me afloat…lol……..would be nice to meet single gay men with kids/or couples for fun…..

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