Torn Between My Lover & My Kids
For almost 5 years, I have been divorced, and have full parental custody of my three sons; 17, 13, 11. During that time, I have tried to find someone to invest in a meaningful, long term reltionship. During the first 4 years, I was unsuccessful at finding that one special man to share being a father with me. Men looked at me as a guy with a handicap, because I slept with a woman and had children, and because I am bringing up by myself, my 3 boys. They looked at me as damaged goods. Because of that, I decided to concentrate solely on bringing up my sons, and having nothing to with guys. About 7 months ago, I met a man who told me he wanted a family, and we fell in love. He was brouht up as a single child, and he has never had kids. We both gave up our apartments, and found ourselves a nice house to move into with my sons. Unfortunately, at times, my lover prioritizes other things before the kids’ needs. He is a clean freak for one and finds it difficult when the boys, leave at times their clothes on the floor, or dishes not in the dishwasher. He looks at them as adults who should be independant, not growing kids. Secondly, his needs always have to come before my boys. Even though I love him, I feel that I cannot, just drop the kids for him. We are to be married in May of 2008, but I a beginning to question that, because he does not put the kids as a priority. I need advice, and hope that someone here, who is also a gay parent, can help me, or help us get over this obsticle.