Okay, so I’m noticing a common thread amongst us adults with GLBT parents. We feel it is our responsibility to take care of our parents. I grew up with the assumption that I am responsible for keeping the “bad people” away from my Moms. I had to make sure word didn’t get to the “wrong people” that my Moms were gay.
In adulthood, we feel we have to help our parents deal with the adversity of being GLBT. It’s our job to make sure our parents don’t suffer because of who they are. It’s our job to fight for gay rights and march in parades and speak out about gay families.
As we continue to go through adulthood, it’s a choice. We can choose to make everything about our parents and their sexuality, or we can choose to have our own lives and let our parents take care of themselves. My choice is to have my own life that is fr*ee from protecting my Moms. It’s not my day to look after the “wrong people.” It never will be.
Just like any other adult, my responsibilities are to make sure I’m there for my Moms and do what I can to support them in their lives. As they get older, I know I will take on more responsibility in the way of healthcare, insurance etc…
No need to worry about anything else. Their sexuality is not my issue. It’s theirs and I let them have it. Am I affected by it…yes. Every time I mention my Moms, I’m affected by their sexuality. Does that rule my choices in life? NO. I refuse to let it. My job may be about adults with GLBT parents, but my life is not about my Moms being lesbians. It’s about me and who “I” want to be. I just hope others with GLBT parents learn that too.
Create a great day!